Having a long-term relationship is one thing, but a long-distance relationship is a whole other ball game. Imagine this: your significant other is moving to another town for a new job or school. It’s hard to stay positive because they’re about to be miles away. Depending on the status of your relationship, you might want to keep it, or you both may decide that it’s best to end things. Let’s say you decide that you want to keep the relationship. Here are some tips based on my experience to help keep a successful long-distance relationship.
1. Before they leave, talk about where your relationship stands and what is right and wrong.
There may be doubts about if they will be loyal or not. Be sure to have a conversation with them on where you both stand and if the relationship is open or not.
2. Push through the first week; it will get better after that.
The hardest step is getting through the week after they move. Try not to be sad because they had to move for a reason. It’s very hard to stay positive at this time, but I promise after the first week, it will become easier. Prepare yourself by setting your expectations to be the worst experience ever, and then it will surprise you when it’s actually not. At least that’s what I did, and it worked!
3. Create a distraction.
Lying in bed missing them won’t make them come back, so try a different approach. Take up a new hobby or job. Staying busy helps you not think about the negative thoughts. While your significant other is away, this might be a relief or a break to give yourself time to focus on you. Whether you are working on your education or a project at work, you will be able to study more and perfect things. Your partner takes up a lot of space in your life, and it’s time to make up for it.
4. Tell them EVERYTHING
One thing to remember is to tell your partner about the new hobbies you are taking up, accomplishments, and things that are happening in your life. Hiding another life from them can cause problems. I say this because we sometimes get so caught up in our own lives when others aren’t around that it’s hard to keep loved ones updated. Also, tell them how you are feeling, and make sure they do the same. Working together will make it easier to cope with this transition, and in turn, it will help your relationship grow stronger and become easier. Tell them that you want to talk on the phone every night because it makes you feel like you are hanging out again, or tell them you want to come see them. That leads to my next tip…
5. Communication is key.
I cannot say this enough. Keeping in contact is the number one reason why couples stay together. Since technology is so advanced these days, it’s easy to just send someone a text! Texting your partner often can keep you a part of their life, even though they are so far away. Tell them how much you love them, or if it’s not that serious, send an “I miss you” text. Communication can make a big difference in a relationship, even if it’s just a couple texts here and there. Many people use a video chat system to see loved ones that they don’t see very often. Facetiming or Skyping lets you see their face and it’s almost as if you two are hanging out.
6. Make a routine.
You may have had a routine before they left, such as going for dinner every Monday night or movie nights on Saturday. Now is the time to explore more options. Having a plan or schedule for when a couple sees each other or talks to each other is very helpful. Plan to have a Facetime date every other night or talk on the phone once a day. This helps you have something to look forward to. Depending on how far away they are, plan trips to go see them. I recommend going to wherever they are and exploring their new life, so then you can get a good picture of what it looks like. A relationship is a two-way street so if they aren’t cooperating on coming to visit you, that may be a problem. Both partners should consider fulfilling each other’s wants and needs.
7. Trust, Trust, and Trust.
Trust is so important in a relationship. If you are following my steps, you should have already talked about what is cheating and what is not. If you are on the same page about things, trusting them should be easy. There are many times in a relationship where one questions the intentions of the other. If they say they are in love or want to stay with you, believe them. Going through a relationship scared of getting hurt only hurts the relationship. Trust can create progress and if a couple has that, they are one step closer to making it work.
8. Try not to be jealous or mad while they are having fun.
Lastly, don’t be jealous of their new life; soon, things will change for you too. For me, I was stuck in my hometown while my boyfriend went off to college. I was doing the same things every night while he was learning new things and meeting new people. There were more opportunities where he was living, and I was jealous. I learned that trust helps a lot with the jealousy. Getting mad when they go out isn’t a way to take out the anger when you are jealous. This can make your partner distance themself from you because they feel like you are controlling what they do. Instead, be happy for them and try to create more opportunities for yourself.
Long distance relationships can actually be quite rewarding. Whether or not your relationship was rocky before the move, the distance between two people can create a greater bond. Seeing them after a while makes not seeing them worth it. Your time together will make you feel more in love than ever because you will cherish it. Having your person be so many miles away can be very overwhelming. There are many decisions that need to be made and not all will be easy. If you are really in love, the distance should not affect your relationship. Missing them will always be hard, but loving them should come easy. Just remember these steps and it can make a difference in both of your lives and your relationship.