You’re always told to know your values, understand your beliefs and know exactly who you are and what you stand for. While that rings true for many things, strictly defining yourself can do more harm than good. I recently discovered that who I was a year ago isn’t who I am today. I thought this to be a bad thing, as I felt a year ago, I knew exactly who I was. Now, my beliefs have changed alongside my priorities and values. I came to ask the question, is this a bad thing?
Short answer is no. It’s not a bad thing. Someone who has strong morals and values is seen as strongly set in who they are. It’s oftentimes seen as something to strive for. However, recent experiences have taught me that confining yourself too strictly into a box of who you think you are, can be dangerous and lead to lack of growth.
For instance, I’ve always defined myself as a creative, literacy-smart person. I quickly defined myself as someone who isn’t good at math or science and can only pursue a career in a more creative, literacy-high field. While my degree still points towards that, I’ve opened to the possibility of more. Programs and classes I never thought to be something I would take, have become interesting to me. Others still define me as someone who must go into a literacy-high field because that’s always what I told people I could and would do. But allowing myself to explore other possibilities in university has been extremely eye-opening and has made me realize that I’m not yet defined by my past interests.
Another key example of this, is the idea that I decided long ago that I’m too introverted to be outgoing. I identified as someone who couldn’t make friends easily and remained quiet in situations where other extroverted individuals took the lead and spoke in. While I’m still quite the introverted person, I have pushed the idea that I’m only introverted from my mind and brought forward the idea that I could try to go outside my comfort zone and meet new people. With that, university has allowed me to become more comfortable meeting new people and being in situations where I’m willing to be surrounded by people I don’t know. And whereas I used to be worried that “this isn’t me” and “I shouldn’t do this because this isn’t who I am”, I now embrace the fact that I’m constantly developing the identity I have created for myself.
The message I want to send across is, your identity is made to be found. Putting yourself into a box and strictly following who you’ve defined yourself to be, will limit the possibilities of achieving more. It’s important to know your limits and to not push yourself too much beyond your own beliefs. But exploring things you thought you’d never enjoy at different times of your life, may allow you to add to your identity. Being more open-minded towards things will not only help you enjoy things better but rather open the possibility of more. And that’s never a bad thing.