One of my biggest discoveries from my first three weeks here at Laurier is that there’s this unspoken pressure to be constantly going out and meeting new friends. One of the tips I heard about making the most out of the first few weeks of university was to “just say yes to everything,” but I can’t say that I agree. I stayed in on a Saturday night and I felt almost guilty for not taking the opportunity to meet people and go out and have fun, when I really shouldn’t have felt that way at all. Don’t get me wrong, meeting people and hanging out with new friends is amazing. However, I find that having time just for myself is what makes me so much more fun when I do go out. While all my introverts and introverted extroverts like myself know the beauty of “me time,” I’ve noticed that my extroverted girls can sometimes neglect this, and they are missing out on all the lovely benefits!
- Recharging my social battery
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The existence of a “social battery” is something I’ve always been slightly aware of, but never quite knew how to describe until I started to see it discussed on social media. Trust me, I’m very aware of it now. When my social battery runs out, it’s not fun for anyone involved. I’m cranky, I’m tired and I’m quiet. When I take the time beforehand to just hang out by myself and do things that are relaxing to me and that make me happy, I have an infinitely better night out (and I think that my friends do, too).
- Listening to my instincts
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One of the biggest differences I’ve noticed since giving myself time alone is that sometimes it’s worth it to say no. I used to never say no to going out because I had extreme FOMO, but then I found that when I was alone, I hated it and wished I was having fun with my friends… However, when I was out, I was still unhappy. I found myself sometimes saying yes when I really wanted to say no, and wishing I was back home. Now when I’m alone, it’s my time. My time to be a little bit selfish and watch the show I want to watch and order in from the restaurant I want to order from. I consider that little bit of selfishness as an important form of self-care; it’s putting myself and my needs first, which I was neglecting to do without even realizing. So while yes, going out is super fun, it’s all about having a healthy balance and listening to my needs.
- Creating productive habits
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Another huge improvement I found in my mood came from newfound time to attack my to-do list. Making time for myself allows me to increase my productivity and do the things that make me feel good. A key example for me is the gym, which many of my friends hate, but I love. I no longer push it off in favour of doing things that wouldn’t give me joy; now, I go by myself and let that be my “me time” for the day. Once I stopped saying yes to events that I really didn’t feel like going to, and unapologetically spent that time working on myself, I learned so much about my own habits and what makes me happy. When I did go out, I felt like I was a new and improved me who was way more fun to be around. Investing in myself made a huge difference in my confidence and behaviour, and it wasn’t something I made time for when I was constantly saying yes to everything.
I know that the benefits of spending time alone have been known for a while, but I really didn’t understand the difference it would make in my happiness until I consciously made that time for myself. Now, go out and have fun with your friends… just maybe make some time for a night where you do a face mask, watch a movie and go to bed early. You’ll thank me later.