If you love going to a street, standing around and freezing your ass off with 25,000 other people, then Ezra Avenue is for you. Don’t get me wrong, I have had my fair share of Ezra on St. Paddy’s as a fourth-year student at Laurier. However, I am completely and utterly over going to Ezra Avenue and here are the reasons why.
Overpopulated
You know the feeling you get in Phil’s on a Sunday night? Everyone is bumping into each other, getting into fights with random people and stumbling around because most of them can’t see straight. This becomes such a problem when the ambulances need to get to the people who need them and they can’t get onto the street. And 9 times out of 10, other drunk people are not in the state of mind to help someone who needs it.
No Drinking on the Streets (Legally)
So, although you can bring a water bottle, as every other person does, you have to be super sneaky about drinking and it’s just a hassle. Why would you want to hide your booze when you can party at home and drink as much as you want from the bottle? Just saying.
The Least Eco-Friendly Party
The ground after March 17th usually looks like people forgot what a trash can was. IF YOU GO TO EZRA, PLEASE CARRY YOUR EMPTIES TO THE NEAREST TRASH CAN. There is no excuse to pollute the Earth.
High Police Presence
So, a little birdie told me that this year, they may be introducing Police Towers onto Ezra Avenue for St. Paddy’s. Do people really get so uncontrollable that they have to treat us like a mob? Answer: Yes, yes they do.
Half the Day is Wasted Sleeping
You get up and start drinking as early as 7 am for some people. Others start drinking later at 10 am. But by the time you want to come home, you are pretty tired. It’s (for me at least) around 3 or 4 that I decide to head home, sleep off the alcohol and wake up around 8 pm. BUT, when you wake up at 8 pm, if you’ve gone hard, you usually have a wicked headache and are super dehydrated. Not only does this suck, but you then don’t even want to go out in the evening. The bars are always PACKED. It’s like a mini Ezra Avenue in each bar and I am not here for it.
White Shoes? NEVER.
I learned this lesson the hard way. It was my first year, the cool winter breeze was in the air and I decided to wear my brand-new Converse to Ezra. When we got there and I looked at the streets, I knew that these shoes were about to become designated Ezra and Phil’s shoes. It was either that or they were garbage. I still use them for Phil’s, even now. Keep in mind when picking your footwear that almost any shoes you wear will become trashed.
The Weather Sucks
It is always way too cold. But here’s the kicker: WE STILL DON’T WEAR PROPER COATS. If you wear a winter coat to Ezra, you end up regretting it because it’s so big and will probably smell like alcohol after. But if you don’t wear one, then you freeze because you didn’t wear the proper layers. There is no winning.
Guest Limits for Buildings
What about the people who don’t want to go to Ezra but live close enough that they have a guest limit on their building? Are they just supposed to sit at home in isolation all day because they chose to have a day in? Super unfair if you ask me.
Last but not Least…
So, this is more of a personal reason. I am not trying to scare anyone BUT two years ago, my good friend went to Ezra with his friends. He decided to funnel off of a building from strangers that he didn’t know (he’s a drunk guy, I didn’t expect any less). He ended up getting drugged from what we think was GHB, a hypnotic depressant used as a date rape drug. He didn’t remember anything past the point of funnelling when he came out of it a few hours later. All I am saying is one of the reasons I am over Ezra is because it isn’t a safe place to be.
So, if you want to go stand around on an overpopulated street with a bunch of drunk people, losing your buzz as the minutes pass and being way too cold, Ezra is absolutely the place for you.