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Top Ten Things To Do on St. Paddy’s if You’re Scared of Ezra

Crowds? Ugh. Crowds of drunk people? Blarg. Crowds of drunk people in numbers over 20,000? Count me TF out. Whether you don’t drink for personal reasons or you just value your white Converse, Ezra Avenue isn’t really the place for everyone on St. Patrick’s Day, no matter what the statistics may suggest. If you’re looking for some activities to do on the big day that don’t involve the infamous street party, here are my top ten suggestions. 

10) Do an essay. 

It ain’t glamorous, but I will tell you right now, the library won’t be this empty again until halfway through the exam period. Get your favourite cubicle while you can. 

9) Clean your room. 

Exams are coming up and you will need your desk because, as mentioned, the library gets crowded. You’ll thank yourself later.

8) Watch Netflix. 

Get your money’s worth out of that subscription. Treat yourself to some pizza while you’re at it, there are sure to be deals. 

7) Online shop. 

You’re saving money on that outrageously priced T-Shirt and beer. Plus, you’re saving money on the prescriptions you will undoubtedly need when you get sick from standing outside. Also, you would have had to buy new shoes anyway. I think that calls for you to check out some sales for those money-saving ways of yours. 

6) Catch up on emails. 

I’m there right now too. A billion emails you need to reply to but just don’t have the time. Just sit down to send them. Your phone storage will sing your praises. 

5) Go see a movie. 

Everyone and their grandmother are out day drinking. I’d personally recommend the Apollo Cinema in Kitchener — they’re always amazing and I promise they won’t step on your toes. 

4) Work it. 

This is what I did last year! Literally just pick up a shift at work or go into the office. Get paid to not have someone spill their beer on you. Amazing. And I’m sure someone else will be thankful to go and get that experience too!

3) Go home. 

Your mama will be so proud, and I’m sure she’d love to see you. Bonus: free food.  

2) Literally anything else. 

Just treat it like a regular day. Your wallet and your Converse will thank you. 

1) Stand on Marshall, Bricker, or Albert and take pictures. 

See? You have proof for your Snapchat story that Laurier is wild AF without the mud and the inconvenience. After all, it’s always great to be a (sober) Laurier Golden Hawk!

Enjoy your St. Patrick’s Day, be safe, and make Laurier proud!

Madeline McInnis

Wilfrid Laurier '19

Madeline graduated from the BA+MA program at Wilfrid Laurier University in 2020. In her undergraduate degree, she majored in Film Studies and History with a specialization in film theory. She later completed her Master's of English degree, where she wrote her thesis on the construction of historical memory and realism in war films. If you're looking for a recommendation for a fountain pen or dotted notebook, she should be your first line of contact.
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