To be quite frank, high school was the worst four years of my life. Although it’s something I’d rather forget and move on from, I can definitely admit that I’ve lived and learned from the experiences and mistakes I went through in high school. As a third-year university student, I’ve gotten the opportunity to discover who I am, who I want to surround myself with and the type of student I can truly be. Here are a few things I wish I could tell my high school self.
People will come and go – and that’s not a bad thing.
I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from high school is that the people you associate with are not permanent. In the moment, the people I surrounded myself with felt like they’d be some of my longest-lasting friends, however, I’ve come to realize that the friendships I made in high school were so often forced due to proximity. I was lucky to move away from my hometown for university and make an entirely new group of friends here. If I told 17-year-old me that the people I’ve met in these last three years would show me love and acceptance the way they do, I’d never believed it (huge shoutout to my housemates). I’m grateful to still have a handful of people from high school in my life, however, I’ve found peace in the ones I’ve lost and grown far beyond where I was in those friendships.
Keep strong boundaries – don’t let anyone get away with crossing them.
I actually reached out to my best friend for some advice and mantras she used to tell me in high school, and this is one of them. Luckily, she didn’t go to my school, but she did endure the years by my side as someone who I confide in like a sister. I can hear her voice telling me to not allow myself to get treated the way I was – something she used to tell me far too often. I wish high school me could understand the importance of boundaries. Whether it’s with friendships, boys, teachers or even myself, boundaries were an area I lacked. I allowed others to take advantage of me in a way that makes me sad to think about, and frankly, I thought it was normal. So, in case anyone reading this needs it, here’s a gentle reminder that friends shouldn’t gaslight you, boys shouldn’t bounce between you and your best friend and teachers or guidance counsellors shouldn’t tell you that you’ll never make it in life.
Be patient – these years aren’t everything.
I truly wish I could tell myself how little all the high school drama would matter in the long run. At the time, fighting with a friend, getting a bad mark or missing out on a party felt like the end of the world. I wish I knew that the little things, that felt so big, would no longer be a concern within two months of graduating. For anyone who needs to hear it, be patient, everything comes to you at the right moment.
I love you – even though you don’t love yourself.
Lastly, and most importantly, I love you. My high school years were some of my lowest years in terms of self-confidence, self-love and overall happiness. I was so stuck trying to please other people and forgetting to make myself happy. I barely even liked myself, let alone loved who I was. I’m so happy to say I’m now in a place that I love who I am, the person I am for my friends, the girlfriend I am to my boyfriend and overall, how I’ve grown as a woman.
To conclude, I am grateful for what I learned and what I grew through, as it turned me into the person I am today. For those still in, or heading into high school, please remember you’re going to be just fine and your experience is what you make it. Take care of yourself, XO.