Identifying as bisexual in 2019 is nothing new. However, due to the variety of ways to identify your sexuality, there are some misconceptions about what bisexuality is. Being bisexual myself, I wish to break down some of the comments I have heard about bisexuality (and friends from the community who have shared their struggles with me). Here is a list of things that bisexual people are tired of hearing.
You have a boyfriend so you must be straight now.
…. No. That’s not how attraction works. I don’t magically stop liking girls just because I have a boyfriend (this goes the opposite way too! If you have a girlfriend, it doesn’t mean that you stop liking boys). It’s not that complicated.
You just haven’t found the right guy.
…Invalidating someone’s sexuality is never cool. Plus, being passive-aggressive isn’t fair. Finding the right person to spend your time with can be difficult!
So you’re 50/50?
The myth that bisexuality means that you are 50% attracted to men and 50% attracted to women is a lie. Sexuality is fluid, and it isn’t clean-cut enough to use percentages. A more fitting title would be “I am attracted to certain people of both sexes.”
Isn’t it true that bisexual people are more likely to cheat?
Another myth about bisexual people that is untrue. Cheating happens on a case-by-case basis, and both straight or gay people are just as likely to cheat! Having more dating options does not mean that you are more likely to cheat on your current partner.
It’s a phase, you’ll grow out of it.
Possibly the most offensive comment. Age has no effect on who you are attracted to! If you know, you know. Don’t let anyone make you feel as if you must prove your attraction to anyone! No one needs that kind of negativity in their life.
Men and women are so different, how can you be attracted to both?
How do you know you’re attracted to men or women? You just know! The same goes for bisexuality, it’s hard to describe. Men are attractive. Women are attractive too.
Overall, don’t let anyone discredit your sexuality. You know how you feel and you never need to validate that to anyone else. If someone makes you feel like you must, then they don’t deserve to have you in their life! It’s 2019, and everyone deserves to have their sexual preferences respected.
As someone who was ashamed of how they felt for many years and has only been comfortable being transparent over the last year and a bit, I encourage you to be your true and authentic self. After all, your heart has the ability to love two different genders, and that’s pretty darn cool.