Throughout the past few years, I have been watching more Romantic movies, most of which seem to be people finding their life partner in their twenties. This made me believe that this was a common occurrence, especially since it has been a common theme in my family for the past generation. I have been waiting for my person to magically show up and experience love at first sight. Needless to say, this has not happened to me yet. I have recently re-downloaded dating apps in hopes of finding someone, and it has been a unique experience to say the least.
When I first downloaded the apps, it was mostly a way to get a boost to my ego. If I am being honest, it worked. I spent the first few weeks talking to multiple people, casually flirting and overall, having fun. As enjoyable as it was to begin with, the fun quickly went away and I realized that I was a lover girl to my core. While I was growing attached to some of the people I had talked to, they were disappearing. As this was happening more and more, I decided this is not the type of dating I was interested in.
I switched my goals and edited my profiles to reflect this. I added more casual pictures that reflect my personality and official changed my profile to say “looking for a long-term relationship”. I looked for people I would be interested in seeing more of and could see a possible future with. With all this in motion, I expected to find someone quickly; it did do not happen. The people I was matching with were not looking for the same things as me, even when their profile said so. I would put time and energy into people who were not doing the same for me. In addition, I was always the person who showed more interest which was becoming very draining. The more people I shared this with, including my sisters, the more I realized that this happens very often. It was refreshing to know that this was not just happening to me, especially because it was beginning to feel like I was the only one experiencing this. With Valentine’s Day approaching, my want for a partner grows; I assume this is a feeling many people experience when being single around this time of year.
As much as I try to put dating in the background of my thoughts, it is hard not to when it feels like this is the time in one’s life that you are meant to search for a partner. I try to focus on myself and not worry about this, but I also feel the pressure of a timeline that does not really exist. It is hard to balance all the things you feel you need to accomplish in your twenties: finding a career, getting through school and when adding dating on top, this can be very overwhelming. For this reason, it is important to still have fun with it and enjoy this time while you can. This year, I am truly going to find joy in being single. Although I am a lover girl and would love to have a boyfriend, I am not going to rush it; I think every twenty-something year old should too. I want to spend my twenties having fun, dancing and spending time with people who want to spend time with me.