In high school, school felt easier. I didn’t study much. I’d simply show up, pay attention in class, and put in the effort when it came to assignments. Somehow, that was enough to keep me on track and get good grades. I wasn’t stressed about school. I didn’t feel like I had to work hard for everything, and it kind of just clicked. But university? That was a whole different story.
When I first got to university, I thought it would be the same. I assumed the transition would be smooth, that it’d be just like high school but with a few more responsibilities. But I quickly learned there was so much more work involved than I anticipated. I wasn’t prepared for the pressure.
The turning point came when I got my first calculus midterm back. I failed. I was crushed. I’d never failed anything before, and that moment made me feel like I’d totally messed up. I thought, “Maybe I peaked in high school. Maybe I’m not cut out for this anymore.” It wasn’t just about the grade, it was about feeling like I couldn’t handle it. I had planned to retake the class over the summer to make up for it, but then I switched my program. The new program didn’t require that specific calculus course, so retaking it wasn’t necessary anymore. But even though I didn’t have to retake it, the feeling of failure stuck with me.
Now, in my second year, I’m trying to do things differently. I’m calling it my “soft launch” back into school. It’s not about forcing myself into some intense grind. I’m not here for that. It’s about showing up, doing the work, and moving forward at my own pace. I want to feel like I’m progressing without the pressure to be perfect. I don’t need to overwork myself. I just want to make steady progress and find my rhythm.
One of the biggest changes I’ve made is not isolating myself to get work done. I used to think I needed complete silence and focus to study. But this year, I’ve found that working alongside friends or having the TV on in the background helps me stay engaged. It’s not about being in perfect study conditions, it’s about creating an environment where I feel relaxed and comfortable. I leave my laptop open while hanging out, and it’s surprisingly effective. The distractions don’t need to be avoided. I can still focus on my work without it being an intense, isolated experience.
Looking back, I’ve realized that this whole process isn’t about perfection. It’s not about acing every exam or having everything figured out. It’s about showing up and doing my best each day. I’ve started celebrating the small wins, like remembering to complete all of my discussion posts rather than stressing about the big ones like doing perfectly on the exam. That’s been a huge shift in how I think about school. I’m reconnecting with the excitement of learning, not for the grades but for the actual process of learning.
When I think about the future, I’m still excited about what’s ahead. I’m considering marketing school and looking forward to a career in brand strategy. But for now, I’m focusing on today. It’s less about rushing to the finish line and more about taking each step at my own pace. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress. I’m learning to embrace the journey one step at a time.