A Shy Girl’s Guide to Talking to Strangers

Leaving high school seems really exciting until it finally sets in that you will no longer be seeing your family and best friends every day of the week. You are now forced to step out of your comfort zone without familiar faces guiding you every step of the way. It can be extremely intimidating to meet new people, especially if you’re shy. Here are some helpful tips, from one shy girl to another, that will help you get comfortable with talking to new people!

Be confident in yourself

This is much easier said than done. Speaking from experience, once you feel comfortable with yourself, you will be able to build the courage to talk to a stranger. It is the unnecessary self-doubt that prevents you from putting yourself out there. By being confident, you ultimately feel less insecure about yourself and stress less about what others may think about you. Fake it ‘til you make it really works in this case!

You’re probably wrong

I am guilty of believing that everyone in a group has known each other for years and are BFF’s. Ditch those thoughts because 99% of the time, it is NOT true. I’ve went up to two people and asked how long they’ve known each other so many times, and the answer is usually “we just met”. Don’t feel like you’re barging into a lifelong friendship, and even if you are, people are always open to new relationships!

Say hi first

You will be surprised by how everyone in university is willing to talk to you about anything. I find it easier going up to someone who is standing alone, as it is way less intimidating than trying to join a large group of people. Even then, this is not high school anymore and cliques are basically non-existent. When you’re standing alone waiting for class, just ask a group of people if you can join them and they will most likely say yes, and if they aren’t welcoming than they are not are not worth your time anyways. Also, do not judge a book by its cover. Someone may seem really intimidating, but most of the time, those are actually the nicest people.


Have go-to questions and be observant

When the conversation starts to go awry, have some backup questions to ask so things don’t get too awkward. If those run out, compliments are always a great way to keep a conversation going. Telling someone that you like their shoes can lead into other questions, like where they got them. And, giving a compliment feels just as good as receiving one. If things do happen to go horribly wrong, with the number of people that everyone is meeting, they probably won’t even remember you. This takes the pressure off when trying to approach someone.

Get their contact info

If you happen to vibe well, ask for their number and socials! Don’t miss out on a possible friendship by not following up.