I absolutely love romantic comedies. Even though they can be extremely predictable, I enjoy seeing people be happy. I like when movies are wrapped up with a bow, and I can sleep peacefully knowing that two fictional people got their happily ever after.
I know that these movies are often exaggerated or unrealistic, but that still doesn’t stop me from watching them. Although my love for romantic comedies isn’t going away, I have learned to understand more about why I like them so much. I already know that things don’t always work out in reality, so I like to see something that is more positive. Why would I want to see a movie that replicates real life? Sometimes real life sucks. I don’t mean this in a negative way; ups and downs are a part of life, but if I want to be put in a good mood, I want to see something that I know will have a nice ending. But is this problematic?
Some people fall in love, spend their lives together and are happy. Some people stay single but have great platonic and familial relationships with people in their lives. Romantic love is something that so many of us desire because we think it’s this absolute fantasy that only some people get to experience, but almost everyone has experienced love in one way or another. Love for your friends, family and yourself are still valid forms of love, even though they are quite different from one another.
Earlier this year, I saw a clip of Daniel Sloss’ comedy special ‘Jigsaw’ in which he uses the metaphor of jigsaw pieces and a puzzle to explain a person’s role in one’s life. He briefly talks about the unrealistic ideas surrounding love and how people hold onto people or situations for longer than they should. Sloss said that many people have broken up after watching this special, which sounds sort of intimidating at first, but what he said wasn’t all that ground-breaking. However, I think sometimes we need to hear things that we already know from a third party.
Sloss said people often hold onto relationships or people because of the memories they made with them or the amount of time they have been together. He then said that people try to force their partner (a jigsaw piece) to fit their life’s “puzzle,” even though they don’t fit into it. What I took away from this is that sometimes people are truly meant to be in your life for a period of time, but not forever. In other words, you can still care for people but not have them actively take a role in your life. Likewise, you can love someone during a rough patch or busy time in your life because they still fit into your life puzzle.
After hearing what Sloss said, I realized how much we, as a society, romanticize the idea of being in love more than choosing to love someone each day. It’s so much easier said than done to tell someone to just stop stressing or live in the moment, but it is so important to check in with yourself and make sure that you are heading in a direction that you want to be in and are surrounded by people whom you want to be with.
Yes, I’m still going to keep watching my rom-coms and loving seeing people in love, but I’m not going to act like my life is less valuable if I don’t get whisked off into the sunset. I’m also not going to force something into my life if it doesn’t fit, and neither should you! You truly are worth everything you desire, so don’t settle.