I’m struggling to put my emotions into words right now. My mom keeps approaching me, asking me to talk, but I can’t find the words. I look around and see the room that was once full of items that held memories empty. The photos of my friends and family on the walls are bare. Everything I’ve collected over the years that I’ve placed in drawers is cleaned out and packed into big brown boxes waiting to be put down in a new place. And even though it’s time we get up and move, no one tells you how emotionally difficult it is to leave your childhood home. I thought it would be simple to pack all of our items in boxes and move on to the next place, but that certainly isn’t the case; it’s not that easy to walk away.
After coming home from university, seeing the “for sale” sign up in my driveway and crying for a solid half an hour about how foreign my house feels to me after being staged, I feel like the hardest things to cope with are the most obvious. While moving out of my childhood home, I’m leaving my community and lifelong friends behind. My best friend won’t live five minutes away from me anymore, and that scares me because I feel like I’m losing a part of my support system. As a 20-something-year-old, I shouldn’t be worried about making friends, but that idea has been on my mind since moving somewhere new. Even with these obstacles that have been put in my way by my mind, I’m finally at the point where I can accept the current situation as I pack up my things and say a proper goodbye. I can now take the time to embrace the memories I’ve had over the past 17 years in this home.
This home has been a place that holds the most authentic memories of my friends, family and loved ones. It’s been a safe place not only for me but for some of my friends as well. I’ll forever remember the late-night memories of dancing in the basement with some of my best friends and sleeping way into the afternoon after many nights out. I remember hopping the fence into my neighbour’s yard when I was a kid and asking them to play outside (a memory I feel most kids had growing up). This is the house I have all of my memories in and where I’ve built my foundation as an individual. All these memories and experiences have made me who I am today and contributed to the community I have surrounded myself with.
My most important advice for anyone going through a similar experience is to take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel. The feelings you might have are totally valid, as moving is stressful and sad, but it can also be an opportunity to start fresh and move on to new adventures.
I’ve been fortunate to live in a home with so much love. I’m sure love will continue to the next house, but it’s hard to think that the place where I’ve made all my childhood memories won’t be mine anymore. But I’m making sure to soak in the last bits of memories I can make in this home and prepare for a new adventure to start, someplace and somewhere fresh. And even though new beginnings can be scary, they can also be exciting.