In a new relationship, getting to know someone is important. It’s true that every person is unique, and everyone has different behaviours and little quirks about them. But honestly, some people suck. When entering a new relationship, it’s important to be on the lookout for things about a person that may be trouble later on. My friend calls them red flags that are shaped like red hearts. Those little quirks at the being of a relationship are the red hearts. They appear to be something about the person that at the time you may think is cute or a behaviour you believe you could grow to love. You may think that the behaviour makes you special or that they will change for you. But once you get comfortable in a relationship, those things that weren’t an issue and just a little something you could deal with, turn into red flags. They become problems, and you are suddenly stuck in a bad place, unaware of how you didn’t notice the signs.
Love is a blinding thing and the honeymoon stage that comes at the beginning of every new relationship can lead to you not noticing red flags. It‘s so important to notice those habits and decide if they truly are a behaviour you could live with or if they signify something greater, something telling you that this person isn’t who you thought they were. Now I’ve been through “the talking stage” before and it sometimes seems as though I’ve seen it all, even though I’m sure I haven’t. I’ve seen the bad habits and steered myself away from those guys that truly aren’t meant for me. I have also seen the opposite; when someone doesn’t see the signs and ends up in a toxic relationship with someone who doesn’t treat them as they deserve. Here’s a list of some of those little traits to watch for and show that a guy may be bad news down the road.
They only want to hang out at night
This typically means they’re only in it for sex.
They don’t take no for an answer, in all contexts
While in some cases they may just be trying to convince you of something, it could reflect a bigger issue and show that they don’t understand consent and that no means no.
They constantly try to one-up you or prove they are smarter than you
They’re a pick-me person, and who wants that in a relationship? They will constantly make you feel insignificant.
You both have different definitions of what is cheating
When one person in a relationship thinks that flirting with others is cheating and the other person of the relationship only sees sex as cheating, broken hearts and lack of trust are bound to become an issue.
They don’t introduce you to their friends or they act differently in front of friends
This shows that the person you see, and the person others see are not the same person. It can be a sign that they aren’t being their true self or could be lying about your relationship.
You feel like you can’t tell certain people in your life about them
This is a huge red flag. If you really love a person, you should be able to tell everyone important to you about them. If you feel you can’t, it’s likely that deep down, you know they aren’t the person meant for you.
They describe all their exes as crazy
Unless someone has the worst luck in the world, all their exes aren’t crazy. It’s likely they were the reason the exes appeared crazy. They’re the problem, not the exes.
They’re rude to everyone else but you
They’re rude to their family, friends, pets and even to retail workers and servers. Doesn’t matter who it is, when they treat everybody but you badly, it’s not a sign that they’re a good person.
They lie
This one is an easy one. Relationships are built on trust and mutual respect and when someone can’t even be bothered to tell you the truth, why should you continue to put effort into that relationship?
They want to go through your phone or have access to your socials
This relates back to that sense of trust. If they want to have access to everything you do, they likely don’t trust you or on a scarier end, may be dragging you into an abusive relationship. This is a big red flag and an even bigger one if they want access to your phone but won’t give you access to theirs.
It’s so important to notice these little things at the beginning of a relationship. They may seem small and insignificant, but what starts as small represents a bigger problem to come. Get out of that relationship before it grows and find someone who truly deserves, supports, and loves you in everything you do.