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Questions We Have for People Who Don’t Drink Coffee

Calling all coffee lovers around the world! Just like us, we know you wonder how people survive without coffee. Coffee is not JUST a drink… it’s a lifestyle, and one that we love. We sat down to try to think of a reasonable explanation as to why the f*** people don’t like coffee. We couldn’t come up with anything, so instead we have some questions… 

To those who don’t drink coffee….

How do you wake up in the morning?

Mornings are the absolute WORST, and if you disagree, we know you are not an avid coffee drinker. So, tell us, if it’s not coffee, what is your secret?


What do you look forward to when you wake up if it isn’t coffee?

We’re just confused???

How can you resist the smell?

The smell alone of a fresh pot of coffee…come on!

Why do you insist on doing things before us coffee addicts have our first cup?

Please just don’t even bother, we need at least one sip.

How do you stay so alert throughout the day? Seriously, how?

Why do you think that tea is an alternative?

… or a green smoothie?

Why do you judge my caffeine intake?

Until my doctor tells me to stop, f*** off.

Do the words “grabbing a coffee, want one?” mean nothing to you?

Best. Text. Ever. This is what friendships are made of.

We’re not here to judge, we just don’t understand your species.

Seriously, no hate.

Xoxo, coffee lovers around the world


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Jaimie Goldstein

Wilfrid Laurier

Hi, my name is Lauren Kohn and I am a second year Communication Studies student at Laurier. I love writing and giving advice to my peers as well as making new relationships!
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