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Sex + Relationships

My Problem with Online Dating

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Online dating has been a popular concept since the early 1990s. It originated from websites such as Match.com and Christian Mingle, taking “meeting people” to a new level. With recent advancements in technology, online dating has shifted from websites to cellular apps whereby two individuals, regardless of geographical location, can connect with one another and form relationships based on a few pictures and a short bio. Online dating allows people to swipe left or right on potential partners.

While in theory, this may sound like the easy way, online dating is nothing if not problematic
I too, gave dating apps a chance a year ago, right before the COVID-19 induced lockdown. I was bored and wanting to have a little fun. I also saw all of my friends using these apps and wanted to get in on the action. Unfortunately, it quickly went downhill and I came to realize why my friends weren’t having much success on these apps despite being subscribed for so long.

The unfortunate truth about online profiles is that everyone feels the need to present themselves as “perfect”. Your online personality is curated to exactly what you want it to be, so if you’re going to pretend to be a peace-loving adventure seeker, all you have to do is take a few photos in nature and author the perfect bio . False personalities create all sorts of issues with online dating because of a very apparent lack of genuineness. Two people cannot really get to know one another for who they are if they are faking multiple aspects of their lives and personality. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is a little too common in the online dating community.

Another issue that stems from online dating is the multiple inconsistent talking stages. A talking stage refers to the initial period of a relationship or friendship wherein two people get to know each other. Talking stages are fun, the first couple of times. However, on dating apps, every single time you swipe right on a person, it’s back to square one. It goes a little like…

Person A: “What’s your favourite type of food?”
Person B: “Pizza”
Person A: “We should go to a pizza place sometime.”

Usually, that date never ends up happening because of another issue with online dating: talking to multiple people at once. When you subscribe to the idea of online dating, you also subscribe to the idea that the person you are talking to is most likely having the same “favourite food” conversation with thirty other matches. I, myself, like to know that I am the only person someone is talking to. Open relationships without labels may work for someone else, which is amazing, but it is definitely not for me.

So, while online dating might help “match” people and create meaningful relationships, it also comes with a more extensive set of issues.

Mansi Jaswal

Wilfrid Laurier '22

Mansi Jaswal is in her fourth year as an English Major at Wilfrid Laurier. She hopes to pursue a career in publication. When she is not writing for Her Campus, you can find her reading a rom-com, playing with her puppy Leo, or baking.
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