Up until recent years, I thought I was genuinely the unluckiest person when it came to love. As someone who did not have their first kiss until they were eighteen, I thought that I was a failure when it came to love. I have since learned that this is incorrect, and you SHOULD NOT feel guilty if you haven’t had your first kiss or done anything with a guy/girl/person yet.
Looking back on my experiences now as a twenty-something-year-old, I know that all my past failed relationships provided me with a lesson that I had to learn. However, it took me a long time to admit it to myself. Here’s what I have learned, (which includes a bunch of information on what not to do.
Relationship #1: A Highschool Tragedy
This one absolutely CRUSHED me.
As most high school relationships go, this was a slow burn that lasted from 9th grade all the way until the end of 10th grade. I considered him my best friend, and after admitting my feelings for him through a gift (for some reason I thought pouring my heart out in a card seemed like the best way to get my feelings across), he denied my advances. However, it was the kind of denial that was ‘maybe at some point’ rather than a complete no. Crushing.
The worst part of this experience was waiting for him to do it in person (which he did not end up doing). I got confirmation of his response via text a few days later. As you will see, this is a trend throughout my relationship experiences.
After this situation, I thought I would never recover. However, here I am, happier and healthier than I was then. Do not make someone the holder of all your happiness – you must find it in yourself. This too shall pass.
Relationship #2: The Coward’s Way Out
This one is less messy (emotionally anyway).
In my final year of high school, I asked out a guy that I did a certain extracurricular activity with (get your head out of the gutter).
At the time, he said no because he had plans already. A few weeks later, he started to talk to me again and eventually asked me out on a date.
Thrilled, I planned the date, and we met up to go and see a show. However, after pulling up to the location, I discovered that it was a fake advertisement and there was no show.
To make things even more awkward, my dad had to drive us to go to a restaurant for our date (as neither of us drove at the time). What ensued was the most awkward ten minutes of my life as we sat in silence in the car.
After eating our meal, the date ended up going well.
However, it was short-lived.
After going away for a holiday (where I bought him a gift), he ended up dumping me via DM at 3:00 PM on a Wednesday while I was working on a project at Starbucks.
Holding back my tears, I quickly got up and walked home.
I found out a few weeks later that he dumped me because he had found someone else and she won out over me (they have since broken up, as I learned from a friend. Ha).
This experience was not as traumatic for me as my first relationship experience. My lesson from this? Karma comes for those who break up with people over DM. Honestly, people deserve more respect. If you are going to break up with someone, grow some balls do it in person.
I hope you have learned something from my experiences – overall, do not be upset if you are alone this Valentine’s Day. It is only one day, plus you can always buy yourself chocolate. Self-love is so important, and you deserve it!