Living With Your Partner: Expectations vs. Reality

Expectation: Now that you live together, you’ll spend all your time together.

Reality: Both people in a relationship have their own schedules and lives. While moving in together definitely makes you both a bigger part of the other’s life, you each still have your own things: your own job, your own class schedule and your own friends. After you move in together, you’ll find that although you see each other lots, you’ll still have plenty of time apart doing your own thing — and that balance is important in a relationship.

Expectation: You’ll have crazy, wild sex every night.

Reality: Although you are going to be sharing a bed every night, it doesn’t mean you’ll be having sex every time you’re both in that bed. A lot of couples even notice a decrease in sex when they live together. When you lived apart, you may have had to take every opportunity you had, but now the convenience of knowing you can “get it on” whenever you want can sometimes lead to skipping it every now and then.

Expectation: Every night you’ll prepare a delicious and healthy meal.

Reality: While living with your significant other does make it easier to meal plan and eat healthy, especially if it’s a shared goal by both partners, it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes you’ll be craving a late-night McDonalds run, so sometimes when you live together, meals will consist of drive-thru bags on the couch.


Expectation: You’ll fall asleep in their arms every night.

Reality: This just doesn’t happen. If you’ve ever tried sleeping while cuddling, you’ll know that it’s never comfortable, especially for long periods of time. Chances are you’ll both fall asleep on your own sides of the bed — and you’ll be glad for that, when you don’t wake up with limbs that have fallen asleep from lack of circulation.

Expectation: The bed and blankets will be shared equally.

Reality: There’s always going be someone who hogs the bed. Personally, my boyfriend and I are both bad for this — I tend to roll over and take up more than my fair share of the bed, leaving him hanging on to the edge for dear life. In return, he tends to pull 90 per cent of the blanket around him, leaving me with a tiny sliver of covers and some very frozen toes.

Expectation: You’ll have “your” shows on Netflix that you watch together.

Reality: There are two ways this can go. Option one is you will both realize your tastes are not very similar and you’ll suffer through watching each other’s choices. Or option two: you’ll both love the same shows, which goes badly when your S.O. is working late, you’re home alone and you can’t stop yourself from watching the next episode without them. When that happens, you either have to own up to them and endure their wrath or clear your Netflix settings and pretend you haven’t seen the episode when you watch it a second time with them.

Expectation: House chores will be split equally and you’ll spend your day off cleaning together.

Reality: Sometimes chores will pile up or sometimes one partner will do the dishes four times in a row. Life happens and sometimes housework doesn’t happen how you plan it to. Sometimes you just can’t be bothered to vacuum the floor, even if it is your turn. But part of being in a relationship is picking up the slack from your partner and knowing they’ll pick up your slack when you need it too.

Expectation: Save water, shower together!

Reality: Let’s face it, showers just aren’t designed for two people to use at the same time. Only one person can really be in the water at once, leaving the other person to stand naked and freezing. Having someone else in the shower with you only makes the process longer, plus, have you ever tried shaving with only half a shower? It’s not so fun. And let’s face it — shower sex is SO overrated.