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Lessons You Can Take from a Falling Out with a Friend

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wilfrid Laurier chapter.

It’s safe to assume that most of us have been in situations where we’ve had a long-drawn-out argument with a friend which ends in a falling out. These situations are definitely not easy and they’re almost like, if not worse, than a breakup. Although these circumstances seem like they’re solely negative, there are always positive lessons you can take from them. Instead of being stuck on the situation, looking at the positive elements and changing your perspective can help you move on without the weight of anger and grief on your shoulders.

Learn More About Yourself

There are always two perspectives in an argument, and they persist when an agreement or compromise can’t be reached. Usually, this means you and your friend have different values that you may not have been aware of before. This can actually be quite helpful self-reflexively. When you’re placed in a circumstance that tests what you believe in or stand for, you start to learn more about what you’re comfortable with, what you can tolerate and, most importantly, your morals and values. You shouldn’t ever change your beliefs for anyone other than yourself because if you’re doing it to please others, you’re sacrificing your happiness and peace of mind. Becoming more aware of your morals will help you immensely moving forward in life. When you’re certain in what you believe in, it helps you prevent future situations that will either hurt you or make you uncomfortable.

Learn to Take Responsibility

When angry or hurt, we often react harshly, which can end up hurting people. It’s insanely important to step back and take a look at the situation as a whole from an outside perspective. It’s also vital to accept the fact that no one is perfect, not even us. When people can’t see what they’ve done wrong, it’s basically impossible to resolve anything. Having the ability to realize and admit where you did or could’ve gone wrong is definitely an important strength to possess and will help you to go forward in life as an open-minded, unbiased and fair person.

Learn That You Don’t Know Some People as Well as You Think

It’s super easy to think you know your friends like the back of your hand, especially if you’ve been friends with him or her for a long time. Although you probably do know a lot, you don’t know anyone as well as you know yourself which is super important to remember. The fact that you don’t know a friend as well as you think can be pretty frustrating to accept, but it can always be proven true one way or another and probably has been if you’re reading this. Although this is disappointing, it’s okay. It’s very important to trust people, so if you have a falling out, it doesn’t mean that you should lose all trust; it just means that once someone violates your boundaries, it’s okay to take a break. Also, remember that a lot of things happen for a good reason.

Learn that Most Things Don’t Last Forever

As people grow older, they tend to change in some ways as they experience different things in life. Change is inevitable and it’s just something that we have to accept. We learn new things and have different experiences which ultimately shape us as people. Sometimes this means we grow apart from certain people and grow closer to others. There’s always the possibility that you could cross paths with someone you’ve grown apart from. It sounds very cliché, but it’s true: if something comes back to you, then it was meant to be, and if not, it never was.

Just because you’ve fallen out with someone doesn’t mean you should forget all the positive times you had with them, and it’s important to be aware of things you may have learned from them. There are so many ways that bad situations can help you learn things not only about the other but about yourself. These kinds of situations also help you appreciate those around you who care about you. Remember to always look at the positive aspects of bad situations and take from them what will help you as a person going forward!

Tamara Jefak

Wilfrid Laurier '22

Tamara is in her third year at Wilfrid Laurier University and is pursuing a double major in English and Communication Studies. Alongside writing, she enjoys traveling, sparkling water, and dancing in the kitchen while cooking with her roommates.