Rupi Kaur is one of the most beautiful poets I’ve ever encountered and I’ve encountered quite a few. Many people, myself included, first encountered her through TikTok and Pinterest, watching as her popularity has grown. Her first book of poems, Milk and Honey, was published when she was 21 years old. Over the next 10 years, she would go on to publish three more poetry books as well as her own guided journal.
I had the privilege of receiving her guided journal, Healing Through Words, for Christmas and it has greatly changed the way I look at Kaur as well as the ways I interpret her poetry. There are many common themes in her poems however, the one I find myself identifying with the most, is trauma. While I recognize my life is nowhere near as hard as the lives of others (and I think, especially now, it’s important to recognize that), I’ve dealt with my own traumas and have only recently acknowledged them.
This journal came to me during a time when working through these traumas was high on my priority list. Regardless, I’ve enjoyed the ability to connect with a poet on a more personal level. When I read Rupi Kaur’s poetry, it feels as though she’s writing to me, writing for me, writing about me and when it comes to poetry, is that not exactly what you should be looking for?
As mentioned, there are some common themes and lessons I’ve recognized as I work through my journal and familiarize myself with Kaur’s poems. So, I wanted to take the time to jot them down. Of course, I won’t get to every lesson I’m sure Kaur intended to teach, but I’m hoping I can do justice to some of them! Below each lesson I’ve learned is a quote from one of Rupi Kaur’s poetry books
Lesson 1: You Deserve Kindness
If you’re anything like me, this is one of the hardest things to remember. As a people pleaser and someone who struggles with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, being kind to myself, on top of ensuring I’m protecting the peace of others, is very difficult. But, I’m beginning to learn that I deserve the same kindness I try to project and so do you.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you” – Rupi Kaur.
Lesson 2: You are NOT What You Have Been Through
This is another really hard one to remember. I’ve spent many moments hoping that the negatives in my life don’t end up defining who I am. I’m doing my best to unlearn that, but it does take a lot of work. When you believe something is true for so long, it’s very difficult to change that point of view. It’s also important to understand that, regardless of what that negative thing was, it doesn’t have to be who you are.
“And here you are living despite it all” – Rupi Kaur.
Lesson 3: You Don’t Need to Fear Solitude
It’s scary to be alone and I’d probably go so far as to say it’s one of my biggest fears. I think this generation likes to surround itself with noise to drown out that loneliness. I know I’m not the only one who will have TikTok, Netflix and Instagram open at the same time just to distract myself. I’ve noticed Kaur writes a lot about learning to be okay with that lonely feeling because that doesn’t mean you’re alone.
“You are not alone. Alone would be if your heart no longer beat, and your lungs no longer pulled and your breath no longer pushed. How are you alone if an entire community lives in you? You have all of you on your side” – Rupi Kaur.
Lesson 4: You Can’t Love Anyone Else Until You Love Yourself
I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but Kaur’s poems greatly emphasize this idea. There’s a lot of conversation around what self-love means and how loving yourself impacts your other relationships. I think it ultimately comes down to the fact that if you don’t feel—or demonstrate—love towards yourself, it’s going to be that much harder to know what it’s like to love someone else.
“I will never have this version of me again, let me slow down and be with her. Always evolving” – Rupi Kaur.
Lesson 5: You’re Going to Be Okay
It’s hard to move on. It’s hard to start from scratch and not feel, in some way, like the steps you’re making aren’t progress, but they are. If there’s anything I’ve taken away from Rupi Kaur’s poems it’s this: healing and growing isn’t a linear battle. It’s not always going to be easy but it’s worth trying your best. At the end of the day, I’m going to be okay and so are you!
“You have only scratched the surface of what you’re capable of. There are decades of victories ahead of you” – Rupi Kaur.
What I take away from Rupi Kaur’s poetry and what you take away from it, is going to be vastly different. But, I think there’s something so beautiful in the many ways we can find meaning in art. These are just some of the lessons I’m learning from Kaur and there are so many others her work is teaching me. If you have the chance and you want to change your view of the world, give Rupi Kaur a try. I promise you won’t regret it!
All my love <3