Asking your partner about their past sexual relationships can feel like quite the awkward conversation, but asking them to get tested isn’t all that bad. Want to know what is bad? Getting an STD. You should never feel that asking them to get tested is a reflection on their past sexual experiences. Instead, look at it as a way in which to take control and demonstrate that you want to take all the precautions necessary in order to stay safe.
It’s not slut shaming
You asking your partner to get tested does not translate to “Hey, I think you’re gross and need to make sure you haven’t caught anything.” There really is no need to even ask about numbers or past hook ups, what someone has done with another, etc. All you need is to know that you are going to be safe. Knowing that they are willing to get tested shows that they are also on the same page as you!
Being a girl does not make it your responsibility
I don’t know why, but SOOOO many guys think that it’s the girl’s job to make sure they are getting their annual tests and the occasional blood test to make sure they are clean. Hello, it’s 2018! It takes two to tango, so asking your partner to contribute in making sure that you are both safe and STD free is really quite reasonable.
Maturity
If you are mature enough to be having sex, then you and your partner are definitely mature enough to go pee in a damn cup. It takes literally five minutes, and if they question why you are asking them to get it done, then honey, kick them to the curb!
STDs are usually symptomless
Many STDs can be dormant in one’s body for a year or more, so there are unfortunately many people out there who don’t even know that they are carrying something, much less spreading it to their partner. This is the perfect example of why the conversation should be brought up and yearly testing should become a routine!
You can get an STD without penetrative sex
A (not-so) FUN FACT is that you can actually get many STDs such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis through oral sex. Even if your partner argues that they are “still a virgin” and “there is no way that they could have one”, they are sadly mistaken. Regardless of what they say their history is, you aren’t at all out of line to be taking these precautions.
You have the right to ask
You are in control of your own body and your own actions, so you have a right to make sure that you are engaging in safe sex. If asking your partner to get tested makes you feel better, then you 100% have the right to do so. Be proactive and learn to have these tough discussions, because in the end you are protecting each other!