In October of 2021, I entered my very first midterm exam season of university. I remember thinking I wasn’t smart enough, that I’d failed my exams and that I was not worthy of being at university when no one else in my family had taken this route. I felt out of place and worthless. After the midterms were over, I realized it wasn’t that bad. I was okay, I’d gotten good grades and I was therefore worthy to be in school. At this point, I’ve gone through five midterm seasons and four final exam seasons. You’d think at this point I’d feel better about school and worthy of my place here, but with finals around the corner, I can’t help but feel like there are so many smart people around me, people who know the class material entirely while I’m just out of place.
I’m a third year student with imposter syndrome. I’ve gone through more exams than I have left and I still feel like I’m not smart enough to be around the people in my classes. Why’s this? Why, after all the successes I’ve had in school, do I feel like I’m still not enough to be in university? Why do I still have the feeling that even with a degree, I won’t feel like it’s enough? School shouldn’t be like this. We shouldn’t feel incapable of things we’ve already succeeded in.
Imposter syndrome is a common thing for people in school, starting a new job or beginning quite literally anything new in life. Everything is something you haven’t gone through before because new twists and turns will pop up unexpectedly. But the thing is, nobody should feel like they don’t deserve to be somewhere they worked hard to get. Anyone in school, in a new work position or any new experience has put in time and effort that has put them in the place they’re in. Doubting yourself and your abilities may happen but letting that stop you from going forward is the part that shouldn’t occur.
While having these demeaning thoughts, I came to this conclusion: I’ve worked hard to be where I am, I have the ability to succeed in my upcoming exams and tests and I have the work habits that can allow me to become successful in each. Even if you don’t do as well as you want to this exam season, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be in the program or school you’re in. There are multiple paths to get to the same place, and a few missteps, a few failures, or a couple of mistakes won’t keep you from getting where you want to go. Yes, not succeeding as well as you wish to is a sad reality that sometimes happens, but as long as you put in as much effort as you possibly could’ve (within reason), prioritize your own well-being and put your best foot forward, you’ve succeeded. You did your best, you’re worthy of being there and your imposter syndrome is all in your head.
So, get back out there, put your all into what you’re doing and enjoy the journey it takes to get where you’re going. You’re going to face challenges and obstacles, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be where you are. You got this far, we got this far and we’re going to make it through.