If Only I Could Know the Places I’ll Go

The future is a scary thing for most people, even when they know what they want to do with their lives. But for those of us who haven’t a clue? It can be our biggest nightmare.

I hate thinking about the future. The question “Where do you see yourself in five years?” That’s probably my most loathed question to receive, and the source of a lot of stress. You see, I have no clue what I want to do in any aspect of my life. I don’t know what career I want to have, or even what fields interest me. My life is full of questions that I’m apparently incapable of answering.

It’s very weird to compare myself to the people around me, many of whom are 100 per cent set on what they are doing in their life. They have an image in their head of where they want to be and what they hope to accomplish. They have a concrete definition of success for themselves and know the steps they need to take to accomplish that.

Meanwhile, in my head, I can’t visualize where I want to be in a year — and definitely can’t figure out what I want to do with my whole life. I definitely feel like I’m stuck and like I’m not progressing in my life. How can I work to shape my future when I don’t know what the future holds for me?

While I may not know what I want to do with my life, it isn’t all bad. It has shown me the importance of slowing down, considering all your options and keeping an open mind. At 20 years old, I still have a lot of living left to do. I might not be matching the pace of some of my peers, but when did everyone collectively decide that there is just one path to future success? Sure, I might be taking a detour or two on the way, but when I do figure out what I’m doing with my life, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that I’m doing something I really love — and that’s worth the wait.

I don’t know much about my future, but what I do know is that I can’t force the answers. If I’m going to figure this out, it’ll be because I took my time to find my truth. So, these are some promises I’m making to myself: I promise to continue trying things out, and not to be ashamed if they don’t work out in my favour. I promise to support myself as I make myself vulnerable to new experiences. And, I promise to wait as long as I need to, in order to find what I’m passionate about, because my happiness is worth it.