I Spilled Coffee on my Professor... Here’s my Story

Part I: Buying the Coffee

Some people will try to convince you that coffee is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Considering the taste of plain sliced bread, the bar isn’t set too high. But coffee is still pretty great.

When it comes to where to buy coffee, my options are somewhat limited. At Tim Hortons, they make you state your sugar and milk content upfront, which is absolutely mortifying.

“Hi, I’d like a medium coffee. One milk and ten sugars, please.”

So I decided to go to Byte 75 in Lazaridis Hall, filling my coffee with sugary goodness as the people around me pretended not to notice.

I saw this person I sort of knew and felt obligated to talk to, but I didn’t want to be late for class – and more importantly, I didn’t want to socialize, because god forbid I have to do that on a Monday morning. So I kind of awkwardly said “hi” and scurried away.

On my way to class, the lid of my coffee cup came off and I had to clamp it back on. No harm done.

Part II: Spilling the Coffee

I arrived a few minutes early and started browsing through the memes I had saved on my phone.

The lid popped off again. No harm done. I put it back and hoped that this time it would stay on for good.

As the class before us streamed out, I walked into the room behind my professor, coffee in hand.

And in that fateful moment, I didn’t see the big fat wire sprawled out across the ground. It was practically begging to get stepped on.

As I tripped, I squeezed the cup and the perpetually useless lid once again came off the rim.My heavenly latte jumped out of the cup onto my professor’s jacket. The rest found a home on the floor.

I was left with no coffee, a drenched professor and 50 students all staring at me.

Part III: Mourning the Coffee

The good news about being humiliated? It really puts everything else into perspective.

I was lucky that my professor was wearing a black coat and it was relatively easy to wipe off the coffee stains. I was lucky that some nice girl offered to help me clean up the coffee off the floor; yay for humanity! I was also lucky that no one was too weirded out watching me carry bundles of toilet paper to-and-fro the classroom.

Sitting through the lecture without my morning coffee was a challenge. The good news is that everyone soon forgot about the incident and went back to worrying about themselves. Everyone except my friends who will never let me live it down.

So, if you’re ever in a situation where you feel horrifyingly embarrassed, remember two things:                                                                                                 

1. People don’t care enough to remember the embarrassing things you do.

2. You can get a plane ticket to Edmonton, Alberta for only $74.