Recently and very spontaneously, I decided to download Hinge along with one of my friends. I know it coincidentally aligns with Valentine’s Day and because of that, I realized how painfully single I am and totally over my ex (lol if you’re reading this bae, please come back). So that’s when I knew it was time to meet someone (or some people) that’s new! I decided to download Hinge in particular because I heard it makes for some real interesting conversations. My friends who’ve had it agree that it’s pretty entertaining. Now, if you’ve matched with me on hinge please stop reading and if you’re ready to hear about my first week on Hinge, let’s get started!
- The guys are so horny that it hurts
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Okay, I know this is a given but y’all, the audacity some of these men have SHOCKS ME. Like with 75% of the men, after a few sentences of small talk, I get hit with some of the thirstiest lines and questions. The worst one I received by far was “I promise I’ll break everything but your heart,” relax Keith, ask me about my day first. A close second was “So are you tryna get slutted out?” but he actually misspelled “slutted” for “slurred,” so it was just even more awkward. I didn’t expect the most meaningful conversation, but I didn’t know people just get right to it when it comes to hookups. Also isn’t this a dating app? There’s tinder for that! However, these conversations definitely lowered my standards of Hinge as a dating app and it’s kind of fun to reply to them with your girls.
- there are so many people I know
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This embarrassed me to a level I didn’t know I could feel because I realized if I see them, THEY SEE ME! There were so many guys that I knew that I had to put my account on pause ASAP. I saw one of my friend’s brothers and then I ended up seeing that same friend on Hinge too (imagine I matched with both brothers). I also ended up seeing a guy from the same university club as me, which caused me to step back and reevaluate my purpose on Hinge.
- Some of them are creepy
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I’ve noticed a lot of the guys I didn’t like back on the app, ended up finding my Instagram and even went to such lengths where they would direct message and explain how they found me. Like aren’t you embarrassed? Is this who we are? Is this what we represent? (If you didn’t get the TikTok reference I’m sorry). But the ones who DM me are weirdly adamant. One guy sent me an edited horoscope reading that quite literally said “Today an attractive young man by the name of (his name) will ask you to be his Valentine (once again).” This was after declining him a couple of times before. This made me feel a little weary but also was so funny to me, so it’s not that big of a deal.
- I don’t think I would actually date any of my matches
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From my first week on Hinge, I concluded that I wasn’t interested enough in anyone to actually go out with them. Despite me saying this, my fake-self did agree to many dates so I’m going to have to figure out how to escape that. But I didn’t connect with any of them (except for my engineering bae, this ain’t about you) and ended up getting bored really fast. Online dating isn’t for me but does a good job at serving me some good ol’ male validation and I actually look forward to staying single for a very long time.
- Men get butt hurt so fast
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I don’t know if it’s their ego but the number of men who got offended over me not replying or me declining a date made me giggle. One guy unmatched with me because I didn’t reply and the worst part is that he is friends with my roommate (awkward). Sometimes they would double or triple text if I didn’t reply quickly and other times when I say no to a date, they would get a little mean. My apologies for not wanting to hang out with you after one conversation, Sanj. Maybe they get the audacity because they’re behind a screen but it’s okay because really what’s going to happen?
This has been my experience on Hinge and of course, it’s different for everyone. In fact, I know a lot of couples who’ve met on Hinge and are really happy together, but I’ve come to realize online dating is not my cup of tea. However, downloading Hinge has been very fun, especially since I finally got over my ex and it felt nice to put myself out there. If you’re single, I would definitely recommend trying a dating app or two once in a while to see how it goes.