At one point in time, everyone is bound to compare themselves to another individual in one way or another. Whether it’s through social media posts of a seemingly lavish life or through high- and low-test marks, comparisons are a mentally draining aspect of living in the 21st century. There are multiple common comparisons that university students make the mistake of creating, thereby lowering their self-image or negatively affecting their mental health. Therefore, here are a few ways to help stop the negative and unnecessary comparisons that are most common within the minds of today’s university students.
Comparing Grades and School Programs
It is very easy to get caught up in defining your self-worth in association with your grades. The current education system is guilty of demanding high grades to “succeed” in life. Success is subjective, and if you aren’t a straight-A student, that is okay. Having roommates or friends who are constantly achieving high marks when you are struggling can be difficult, but it is important to remember your self-worth is not defined by your grades. Everyone is different, thinks differently and has strengths and weaknesses in different aspects of life. Just because someone else thrives in academics, doesn’t mean they’re any better than you. Society may make you believe that that is what makes you “successful”, but there are a thousand other things you may be good at, so don’t sweat it.
As for programs, it is also quite difficult to compare “hard” and “easy” programs. Oftentimes, math and science programs are considered the more difficult and demanding programs and are associated with smart individuals. Whereas disciplines such as English may be seen with a stigma of “easy”. It’s frustrating to feel guilty about being in a considered “easy” program when everyone surrounding you is enrolled in so-called “difficult” program. But something to remember is that you are on a different path than them and will end up doing what you love in the end. Their path is separate from yours and ignoring the stigmas will allow your program to be more enjoyable than if you let it get to you.
Comparing Relationships
Seeing other people’s relationships with friends and romantic partners over social media may be damaging to someone who may be struggling in their own relationships. However, social media is a collection of desirable moments an individual has, and their actual relationships are most likely not as perfect as they seem when they are plastered on your phone screen. Seeing other people’s successful relationships may lead to a rethinking and comparison of your own, allowing yourself to think “why isn’t my relationship like that” or “why don’t we do those things as well?” These thoughts are extremely dangerous to the well-being of your own relationship. The realization that everyone is different, and your partner or friend is not the exact person as another person’s partner or friend is crucial. The best way to stop comparison of this matter is to identify all the positive aspects of your relationship with a specific individual, rather than wishing you had something another person may have. Every individual is different which means every dynamic will be different as well.
Comparing Physical Features
Body image is probably the most damaging thought process among university students today. It is so easy to walk by a stranger on the street and compare their body shape, hair, skin or facial structure to your own. With beauty standards today, anyone who may not be what society accepts as “beautiful” may catch themselves seeing someone with desirable features and compare themselves to them. In order to stop this, it is important to recognize that everyone sees themselves as flawed, even those who are seemingly “perfect.” You are your own harshest critic, and everyone is too worried about what they look like to even notice if you are not up to society’s standards. The best day to stop this harmful comparison of physical features is to change your mindset into finding your features beautiful. Realize the freckles on your skin are unique and the stretch marks on your legs are not only normal but beautiful. Realize that every human body that allows people to get up and achieve things every day deserves to be thought of as beautiful. It’s easier said than done but changing your mindset to understanding that you’re perfect the way you are, will give you the confidence to carry yourself in a way that will stop your mind from comparing yourself to others.
Comparing Lifestyles
Every single person comes from a different background, environment and upbringing that may affect things such as where they live, how much money they have and what they own. Starting at a young age, a child that doesn’t wear name-brand clothing may compare themselves to those who do. At a young age, the concept of money and upbringing is difficult to comprehend and may lead to constant comparison into teenage and adult years. Even though someone may understand their lifestyle is unable to give them the same gifts, vacations or education as another individual, it is still easy to compare and become negatively affected by these thoughts. The way to fix this negative comparison is to show gratitude for what life has been able to bring you and realize how many opportunities life brings you if you work hard enough. Many people who come from difficult backgrounds are able to rise up and achieve the lifestyle they dream of, without comparing their current situation to others around them. Being grateful for what you have while also working hard to achieve what you desire is the key to dropping negative comparisons of lifestyles.
Comparison kills. It’s difficult to get out of the habit of comparing others’ lives to your own, as today we are prone to seeing and analyzing lives from around the world through our phones. The most important thing to remember when you catch yourself comparing yourself to others is to reflect on the positive aspects of your life. Work on changing your mindset to accept what you have and understand that every life is different and every person has their own struggles. Focus on yourself and life will get easier.