Relationships are quite literally rocket science. They are hard to figure out; you deal with trial and error, ups and downs as well as everything in between. You think you want something and then when you have it, you realize maybe that wasn’t at all what you were looking for. Preferences change, priorities change and you won’t really know what you want until it’s happening. But when it does, that honeymoon phase is the best feeling in the world. Eventually, in nearly every relationship I’ve been in, the rose-coloured glasses have come off and the realities of the relationship not fitting my standards or needs are heightened. Fights occur, tears are shed and suddenly, the relationship is more stress than it is happiness. The honeymoon phase comes to a crashing halt. I’m here to tell you, this isn’t always the case. With the right person, the right priorities and the right actions, the honeymoon phase can be here to stay, and here is how.
Understand what the Honeymoon Phase is
First things first, you have to understand that the honeymoon phase doesn’t mean there are low points. Every relationship has those, it’s just about how you deal with these disagreements or misunderstandings that affect the significance of the problem. For instance, in previous relationships I’ve been unclear about what it is I wanted in order to be happy and what I expected from the other person. I didn’t set boundaries in the beginning. Therefore, the person was free to cross these lines, as it was my fault that I didn’t express what I did or didn’t feel comfortable with. People aren’t mind readers; open communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Not getting frustrated when the other person expresses these needs might be the second most important, because there is no better feeling than feeling heard and understood. This way, any disagreements are lessened and the feeling of understanding and love toward your partner is what can be focused on.
Consistency is Key
Past relationships have taught me that what happens in the beginning of the relationship tends to stop at some point. They stop texting you good morning, you stop receiving flowers and those special dates never occur again. I thought this was normal and just a phase in the relationship that concluded. What my current relationship has now taught me is that when the person truly cares for you, this doesn’t stop. We continue to buy each other “just because” gifts, have dinners together and write each other letters showing how much we care for each other. This truly showed me that a person can be just as loving in the beginning of the relationship as they are throughout the duration, which in turn makes me feel more inclined to want to do kind and caring things back. This reciprocal, continuous little reminders to give gifts, compliments and spend time with your partner will reassure you that they’re there for you.
Make Time for Each Other
One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to relationships is when the other person continuously cancels plans or doesn’t even try to make plans to hangout. Not only does this lack of quality time diminish the relationship but it’ll also make the person wanting to hangout feel like they’re unwanted and uncared for. After experiencing this in the past, I knew one of my standards for a future relationship was to make time and put effort into seeing one another. Although my boyfriend and I are long-distance for the time being, we have made an effort to see each other equally. We bus or drive to one another as often as we can as well as calling when we can’t. It isn’t even about the time per se, it’s about showing the other person they’re worth putting time into even when life gets busy. Prioritizing your partner will leave a lasting impression that allows the connection to remain strong.
New Experiences
Much of the idea of the spark fading is the repetitiveness of the relationship. Doing the same things, watching the same shows and having the same conversations all add to this repetitiveness and nobody likes to be bored. One of the amazing things about being in a relationship is that you have a partner to try new things with and have new experiences with. Planning activities outside your usual hangouts is important in keeping this honeymoon phase feeling, as new experiences mean new and exciting feelings. Everything is new at the beginning of the relationship, which is why it seems so exciting at first. But in order to keep this feeling, going to new places or trying new foods, movies and activities are all good ways to make the relationship continue feeling fresh and thrilling.
Relationships are tricky things to maneuver, but knowing yourself, knowing your partner and knowing these tips to continue your strong connection is key to remaining in an amazing relationship. Show your partner gratitude, support and appreciation and remember that reciprocation is key. Your partner wants to feel it just as much as you do, and this way, they can be both your partner and best friend. The honeymoon phase will be long-lasting and enjoyed for time with new adventures, experiences and prioritizing one another.