With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, sex and relationships are an especially hot topic. In a society that is becoming increasingly sex-positive, commonplace has replaced taboo when it comes to the topic of sex. We see it in movies, on magazine covers, we talk about it with friends and we read about it on the internet. However, oftentimes the surface level and physical aspects of sex are all that are touched on. We are bombarded with tips and tricks to “give the ultimate blowjob” or “blow their mind in bed,” but we aren’t even told why these things are so important to a relationship. To expand and connect the topics of sex and relationship, I’ve compiled a list of how great sex can help build an even greater relationship.
1. Sex brings you closer together
Becoming sexually intimate with someone is about as close as you can physically get. It’s like a heated version of Twister: body parts tangled together, interesting (and sometimes uncomfortable) positions and lots of sweat. You’re getting an all-access pass to every inch of your significant other’s body — and if that doesn’t bring two people together, then I don’t know what does.
2. Sex releases bonding hormones
You know that feeling you get when you’ve just had a mind-blowing orgasm and all you want to do is cuddle and gush about how amazing the person who gave it to you is? That magical feeling is caused by the release of bonding hormones, oxytocin in particular. Oxytocin is often referred to as the “cuddle hormone” — and rightfully so — as it encourages prolonged physical and mental intimacy, which helps people grow closer, faster. So have orgasms in abundance: it does more than just feel good!
3. Communication in the bedroom translates to communication throughout the relationship
If there’s one all around relationship tip that I can give, it would be to communicate honestly and often. Communication is the key to maintain healthy and successful relationships of all kinds. Communication during sex is especially important for many reasons: it makes sure that all parties are comfortable and enjoying themselves (consent it key people), it allows you to show your partner what really works for you and it helps you become comfortable expressing your needs and desires. Practicing these tactics during sexy time will not only make your sex life SIGNIFICANTLY more enjoyable, but they’ll get you in the habit of communicating openly with your partner.
4. Spicing things up helps keep the relationship feeling fresh
When you do the same thing over and over again, it can become predictable and boring, making it feel more like a chore than anything else. Having sex with your partner is probably the last thing you want to feel like a chore. Exploring new things in the bedroom is a great way to explore your own sexuality while keeping your relationship fresh and exciting; that can mean taking a trip to the local love shop, switching up positions or trying out some new dirty talk. Exploring these things with your partner will give you both something to look forward to and bring back those butterflies we all get when going to bed with someone for the first time.
5. It keeps both partners satisfied
Getting horny is a natural and unavoidable facet of human life, but sex drives exist on a spectrum and vary greatly from person-to-person. Some people are satisfied having sex once a month, whereas others feel the desire to go multiple times a day. Drastically different libidos most often do not bode well for a healthy long term relationship. The high libido party may feel rejected and self-conscious when their low libido partner does not what to have sex, building feelings of resent. On the other hand, the low libido partner may become annoyed by constant advances by their partner when they are not in the mood and feel as though sex is the only thing their partner values from their relationship.
While both partner’s feelings are valid, this is probably not what their partner intended them to feel and will slowly eat away at a relationship. Finding a partner with a libido that is similar to your own or working together to make a compromise that keeps everyone happy, is crucial for a thriving relationship.
Sex is an important part of romantic relationships — and a healthy sex life is a great way to grow as a couple: so spend a little extra time in the bedroom this Valentine’s Day!