As a semi-ex-people pleaser, I’ve had my fair share of letting people walk all over me. Throughout the years I’ve learned that sometimes it’s okay to put yourself first and listen to what your body, heart and mind are telling you to do, even if it comes across as selfish. Although some people may disagree, I don’t think it’s selfish to prioritize yourself and listen to your needs.At the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got. It’s good to put yourself first, and it can actually help you improve and become the best version of yourself to share with others.
It’s important to remember your self-worth and not let other people’s perception of you define how you perceive yourself. I spent so much of high school caring what others thought of me, and at some point, I had to ask myself what I thought of myself. I spent so long trying to impress people with different versions of myself to live up to their standards that I lost all of my identity. Once I realized this, I became fed up with pretending. I realized that sometimes, letting those negative people go and working on yourself is necessary (and not selfish at all).
Once I moved away for university, I gained the courage to leave the negative people behind and start a new chapter without them. And the relief that I felt was phenomenal. I suddenly thought so much higher of myself and didn’t doubt who I was. I was now hanging around people who I felt comfortable being myself around. Letting these people from my past go was truly one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
I used to constantly do things that I didn’t want to or didn’t feel comfortable doing, simply because everyone else was. But once I got past the constant need to impress (which is impossible, by the way), I was able to let go of that stress and focus on the things that made ME happy. If that meant staying in for the night to recharge while others went out, then so be it! That’s not selfish at all — it’s what my body and brain need. It goes without saying that a person may only be so self-serving before it comes across as selfish. However, I believe that it’s perfectly acceptable to say no as long as it’s reasonable and you still show them respect! Don’t allow others to make you feel bad for taking care of yourself.