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Sex + Relationships

Here’s Some Hard to Swallow Pills When it Comes to Guys

One of the things that sucks about relationship advice is that it’s usually not until we’ve had a bad experience that we’re able to learn important lessons. It can be easy to read someone’s advice and understand what they’re trying to say, but it can be hard to actually put that into execution. Hopefully, some of the advice I’ve listed can provide you with some guidance or at least some peace of mind when it comes to navigating your dating life.

If he wanted to, he would

This statement seems like a very easy thing to understand, but I find that it’s something that a lot of people struggle to carry out. The fact of the matter is, if a guy wants to talk to you, see you, hang out with you, be your boyfriend, etc, he would simply do that thing. Think about how easy it is for you to want to message him whenever you miss him or how easy it is for you to think of a future between the two of you. If a guy isn’t doing something that you want him to do, it’s usually because he doesn’t see the value in doing that thing and would rather spend time doing things he actually wants to do.

If a guy really wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t even think about letting you go and possibly allowing you to find someone else to be with. Guys who are wishy-washy about their feelings don’t deserve your time. Maybe they’re not interested in a relationship or maybe they’re just not interested in a relationship with you specifically – either way, you deserve someone who is going to give you everything you want and more.

Even if things could have gone differently, the outcome would have been the same

When relationships go wrong, I think many of us try to think of things that we could have done differently that would have led us to still be with this person. The truth is, there is usually nothing that we can do when it comes to changing how a person feels about us. Sometimes we think that maybe if we didn’t say that one thing or would have made that joke instead of letting the conversation die, things between you and this person wouldn’t have ended. But when relationships go poorly, it’s usually because it was never meant to be in the first place – and there’s nothing that we could have done would change that. Take the ending of your relationship for what it is and move on with your life.

Gif from the movie You\'ve Got Mail

Having a connection means more than just liking the same things

500 Days of Summer, one of my favourite movies of all time, has a quote in it that goes, “Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap that you do, doesn’t make her your soulmate.” Every time I go through some sort of “breakup” with a guy, this quote is always something that I think about. Just because you know their favourite TV show or you know some information about their siblings does not mean that you guys have a connection. Anybody can know this information about another person and simply knowing random facts about another person does not mean that you two are soulmates. Having a true connection with somebody is something that is so undeniable and unlike anything else, and it’s something that BOTH people in the relationship will feel without any question.

Not everyone is going to see your worth

As much as you may try to get someone to see how great of a person you are, sometimes, no matter how hard we try, the people we want to see it the most just never do. Some people that come into our lives are only there to teach us a lesson and are not meant to stay for more than a short time. It can be super frustrating when you feel so strongly for someone and they just can’t seem to feel the same way about you. However, it’s important to remember that our time is precious too, and we need to have value in how we choose to spend that. Trying to convince someone about how amazing you are doesn’t sound like a good use of time to me.

I think one of the most important things you can take away from this is that you should find somebody who it feels right with from the beginning of your relationship. Guys who play any type of game or try to hide any of their feelings towards you because they’re afraid of how they will be perceived aren’t worth it. A guy who is truly into you would never do something that he knows would hurt you or put you in any sort of position where he could potentially lose you. If a guy is leaving you confused in any way, the only logical thing to do is walk away and move on to someone who really values being in your life.

Jacqueline Armstrong

Wilfrid Laurier '20

Jacqueline Armstrong is a fourth year BBA student at Wilfrid Laurier University.
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