Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): the feeling of apprehension that one is either not in the know or missing out on information, events, experiences or life decisions that could make one’s life better.
You have experienced FOMO. I guarantee it! I cannot tell you how many times I have caved and said yes to going out right after I had a mentally exhausting week. I give in to going out, thinking that I could be missing out on what could be the best night of my life. Spoiler alert! I am not missing out on anything. This used to happen quite frequently, but I would like to say I have gotten better with it. At its core, FOMO is a symptom of an unhealthy mindset, something that was taught to you that you must unlearn. Here are a few things I do to overcome this.
Social Media is Lethal
FOMO is perpetuated by social media. I did not know this until now, but the term FOMO was coined in 2004 in relation to the rise of the internet and social networking sites. All social media creates FOMO by showing you what others are up to and the best parts of people’s lives, but I think the most guilty is Snapchat. Not only does Snapchat show you what everyone is up to in real time, but it also displays your friends’ locations. After seeing everyone out on the weekend in various locations with different people, your mind starts to wander. What are they doing? Are they having fun without me? Why did I stay home? So, social media is the cause of FOMO, but here is what you can do to unlearn it. First, you need to understand that people only show the best parts of their lives; you do not know the backstory behind any of the photos or videos you see. Who knows, after that photo someone posted at the club, they could’ve gotten a drink spilled all over them and ruined their night. Or that video of people screaming the lyrics to a song together; what if they only knew the chorus and then it was dead silent afterward? How awkward is that? Do not assume that the people you see on social media are having the time of their lives because most of the time that is not true. Another option is deleting social media entirely, but even I have not gotten there yet. A less intense option is checking socials less when you plan to stay in and focusing on what is important: resting and resetting.
Who are you going out for?
This is a question I ask myself every time I am feeling pressured to go out. You do not need to party or be social every weekend to feel fulfilled, so who are you doing it for? Are you doing it for yourself or to show others you are out? (On a side note, if partying makes you feel fulfilled, please continue doing it!) When I ask myself that question, I know the answer: when I went out, I would not be doing it for myself most of the time. I would be doing it to prove to others that I have a social life, but it was incredibly draining. So next time you find yourself debating on whether to go out, ask yourself: “Who am I doing it for?” And if the answer isn’t for yourself or your own enjoyment, I think it might be best to stay home.
Not Every Weekend is a Party: You Are Not Missing Project X
Like the heading says, you are not missing Project X. Do you ever go out and think, this sucks so hard? Or that there is no one else out? Does the music suck? You would have much rather stayed in and watched TV? Yeah. Because you had different expectations for the night, and they are not met, you regret going out in the first place. Not every weekend is going to be a party and it does not have to be. What I found helps me is I will prioritize certain things I know I will have fun at (that feel like Project X or as close as it can get). If I am going to a friend’s birthday party, going out with friends I have not seen in a while or maybe a new group of friends, those are things I know I will enjoy. I will feel great saying yes to them. But if I have been to Pub twice this week and people are asking to go again, I know I will not have fun and I will not experience FOMO either. So, prioritize things based on your own enjoyment.
Quality over Quantity
If you are not feeling mentally well enough to go out and be with a big group of people but are feeling okay enough to be with a small group or a close friend, do that instead! This is a great way to combat FOMO because not only are you prioritizing your mental well-being, you are still being social. Spending quality time catching up, watching a movie or getting food with a friend or small group of people is much more meaningful than hanging out with many people you do not know very well. This is a quick fix, but I find it helps the most.
I still experience FOMO, but I am better at keeping my emotions in check and listening to myself and my needs before agreeing to go out. Asking myself “Who am I going out for?”, avoiding social media and choosing to spend quality time with a small group of friends has helped me unlearn this idea. I do not need to always be out on the weekend with the fear that I will miss something. As well, saying no to going out has also been good for my health (and my bank account, too). And remember, there is always next weekend.