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Every person is either a realist or a romantic, and they can sometimes be a mix of both. These terms are thrown around a lot when people are describing themselves or a partner. Although, if you haven’t heard the terms before, let me quickly give an overview of each one.

The Realist

They are more likely to face reality head-on. There’s no sugar-coating life or mistakes that happen along the way. They follow a realistic view, keeping themselves in check with reality and understanding the impossible and possible. 

The Romantic

This is the exact opposite of a realist. This is your dreamer; they view life in a more optimistic way and almost anything is possible. However, they do sugar-coat mistakes or life issues that may arise, as they romanticize their life, just like a fairytale.

Now that you know the differences between a realist and a romantic, you can understand why people tend to say, “don’t date your opposite.” As a romantic, many people want cute dates and surprises; they live a more spontaneous lifestyle. Realists tend to not enjoy spontaneous adventures and are less likely to take part in fairy tale activities. However, it isn’t necessarily bad to date the opposite of you, as long as you understand the different views that are likely to be present during the relationship.

It can be healthy to date the opposite. For example, if you’re a romantic who is dating a realist, they may help with taking constructive criticism and understanding certain ideals and behaviors in life. In return, the romantic can teach the realist to step out of their comfort zone and be more open to impulsivity and spontaneity. Many people like to argue that realists should stick with realists and romantics with romantics; this isn’t necessarily true.

It’s important to remember that as a romantic, you can keep realistic expectations of your partners. This means that you understand your realist partner isn’t going to pick you up for your date in a horse-drawn carriage like in Cinderella. If you’re setting extremely high expectations without communicating them to your partner, there is a high chance you will be disappointed.

If you are a realist, remember not to get frustrated or annoyed by your partner’s spontaneous and impulsive personalities. You can learn a lot from them, and they can push realists outside of their comfort zones; this allows them to try and explore new things they may have never thought about doing. They are just trying to push you to explore more activities and celebrate the romanticized materials that life offers.

When looking at expectations for being in a realist-romantic relationship, remember to remain open-minded. Also, make sure there is open communication about any expectations of your partner and your relationship. Every person has different expectations and if you are in a realist-romantic relationship, the chances are they are quite different – openly communicating and understanding one another will go a long way.

Ashley Ethier

Wilfrid Laurier '23

Ashley is a third year double major in Sociology and English at Wilfrid Laurier University. In her spare time she enjoys reading, walking her dogs and enjoying the simpler things in life.
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