Doing Long Distance: The Good and Bad of Living in Different Continents

Backstory:  Kaitlyn and I have been dating for just under a year and a half and, until she got an opportunity to move to Austria to play in a professional European hockey league, we lived together.  Even when we lived together, we were on completely opposite schedules.  She would get up at 5 am to train or coach clients, and I would be just getting to bed from a night of working at the bar or club or pulling an all-nighter studying, so I think we underestimated how difficult long distance would be. If you are considering taking on an LDR, here is what I have learned, the good and the bad, about living 9000km apart.  

Good: I am super productive

I have to say, when she was around, I would volunteer to get cut from work first, or I would skip a workout to come home early to see her.  Now, I have no reason to ever leave work, school or the gym.  When we see each other at Christmas, I am going to be so rich and so damn fit!

Bad: I miss her distractions

Obviously, I miss the texts saying, “Get home, I miss you.” or the kisses before she leaves every morning for work, and I really miss slamming my laptop closed as she tells me I am done work and drags me to bed.  

Good: I have become a better cook.

Kaitlyn always cooked for me, so without her here, I have had the opportunity to learn what an oven does. 

Bad: Only because there is no one here to cook for me. 

I still hate it. I like my food like I like my Caesars, brought to me in bed every morning. 

Good: We schedule time for each other every day

When we were living together, it was always easy to push off dates, or simple things like telling each other about our days when we had busy weeks, but in the long run it adds up. When living apart, we value each and every moment we get to talk to each other and the moments we get to spend with each other even more.

Bad: The 6 hour time difference forces us to schedule everything.

Of course, when you’re working and studying, or in her case travelling, it is easy to get busy and forget that there is a six-hour time difference.  We have to schedule every single goodnight, good morning, and Facetime, otherwise, we will miss it.  We often find ourselves talking at 2 am EST when she is waking up in Austria at 8 am, just because every other time in the day is too difficult with our schedules. 

Good: I have the bed to myself

Kait makes too many rules. No pizza in the bed. Put down your phone. Don’t sleep with your laptop. No pizza in the bed. Well, guess what??? I am sleeping soundly with me and my main man Dominoes. Also, I sleep hot and she sleeps cold, so I finally get to sleep without 17193738 blankets on this bed... ahhhh.

Bad: I have no one to cuddle with

I actually hate sleeping alone. I would give up pizza to sleep with her cuddled up against me. Nothing in this world compares to cuddling.

Good: I have more time to go out with my friends. 

The truth is, I don’t have as many plans.  So, I have the opportunity to make a ton of other ones. I get to see people that I haven’t been spending a lot of time with and I get to rekindle friendships with my old party friends! 

Bad: I have to go home alone. 

At the end of the night, when all of my friends have a “bae” to go home to, I am still going home alone. (Tequila helps).

Good: Our communication has improved

I have ironically felt closer to her over the time she has been gone. LDR allows us to really share every aspect of our day, talk about what we look forward to and our stresses.  It is something we likely took for granted and pushed aside in our busy lifestyles at home, but has become such an important aspect of our relationship.

Bad: All we can do is communicate

UGHHHHH. The other half of me is like IM OVER IT. Enough talking already, show me the money. Long distance tests you, every part of you, and it is testing my self-control and patience like crazy.  *Goes to Costco for batteries… lots of batteries*

Good: She can check out all of the cool places she wants to take me when I visit.

I like having someone to pre-check all the fun and unique places to take me.  Having her live there will give such an authentic and unique perspective to our tourism and will make it even better.

Bad: I have mad FOMO. 

My girlfriend should not be allowed to have fun without me. I do not ask for too much.  No fun. None. Nada. I have the worst FOMO and I hate that I cannot be a part of all the memories she is making (but I am so proud of her and despite my crazy, I would not have it any other way).