The Do’s and Don’ts of Drunk Texting

While we are all aware of the consequences, we do it anyways. Week after week, we spend our morning after a night out doing damage control on our own actions. It goes like this: you’re having a fun night out, and suddenly you’re missing someone you probably shouldn’t be, or you receive a text from someone you wish you hadn’t. Whether it is an ex, a current interest, or even your mother, something makes you feel like you need to 1) send them a text or, 2) respond to a text you’ve received from them.

While the first “Don’t” is obviously don’t text them in the first place, that is certainly not always the case. In fact, it’s likely never the case, because why not stir up a little trouble under the influence. In the event you cannot control your urge to text or text back, consider the following do’s and don’ts.

 

Do: Text for Pizza

If you can conveniently have that pizza delivered (do pizza places do text for delivery?), do not pass up that opportunity.

Do: Give your phone to a trustworthy friend

I don’t mean the friend who will dangle your phone in front of your face until you inevitably snatch it out of their hand. I’m talking about the friend who will shove it in their pocket on airplane mode, hide it as far away from you as possible, and go to great lengths to keep that demon out of your hands.

 

Do: Damage Control

The day after you have given in and drunk texted, you need to put a Band-Aid on the situation. Make sure the victim of your intoxicated messages of love, hate, or the meaning of life, knows you were not in your finest form. While many believe drunk words are sober thoughts, hopefully you can convince them otherwise, depending on what you have said. Especially if you’ve had a heated conversation, make sure you apologize, it’s the least you can do for dragging up the past.

Don’t: Text your Ex

This is the least and most deserving person of a drunk text for many, but save yourself the drama, leave the past in the past, and LEAVE YOUR EX ALONE. While tempting to bring up unresolved issues between you and someone you should be moving on from, it is more tempting to text someone who will appreciate you thinking of them this late at night, like your best friend. They are usually up for entertaining your intoxicated thoughts.

Don’t: Tell the person you’ve texted to come and get you

Unless you’ve texted your best friend desperately needing them to get you home safely, there is no reason to encourage an ex or a S/O to come and join you or pick you up. You are in a vulnerable state and this can only lead to conversations that do not need to be had.

 

Don’t: send photos.

Selfies. Nudes. Videos. This is the most incriminating evidence you can hand over to someone, and you are not in a state to make the correct decision regarding this. If you need to delete the SnapChat app for the night, do it. Nothing is worse than waking up to a list of people you sent blackout snaps to and have no recollection of.

It’s tempting, trust me I know, I’ve been there too. But save yourself the regret, use your phone only to call for a taxi or pizza, and stay strong. No drunk texts equals no drama.