Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Girl holding heart in sunset
Girl holding heart in sunset
Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR from Pexels
Wilfrid Laurier | Career > Her20s

Dating Yourself First: Falling In Love with Yourself First

Gloria Jasson Student Contributor, Wilfrid Laurier University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wilfrid Laurier chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

There is something really special about getting to a point where being alone feels peaceful instead of uncomfortable. It takes time to feel confident in your own company, especially if you are someone who gets anxious or feels safer in groups. No one gave us a crash course at 18 on how to enjoy things alone, so when we finally try it, our brain acts like something is wrong. The truth is that nothing is wrong. You are simply learning a new skill.

Becoming comfortable with yourself is not about cutting people off or pretending you do not need anyone. It is about building a relationship with who you are when the world gets quiet. It is gentle, slow, and very real. And it starts with the smallest moments.

Start Small and Make it Simple:

You do not have to take yourself on a full day solo adventure right away. Begin with tiny steps. Do your groceries alone, sit in a coffee shop for a few minutes, or go for a short walk. If it feels overwhelming, put your headphones on. Music can instantly shift your mood and create a little bubble where you feel safe. When you are listening to songs you love, you are reminded of your own world instead of worrying about what anyone else might be thinking about. And most of the time, no one is thinking about you at all. They are busy doing their own things.

Use Your Headphones Like Your Personal Comfort Tool:

Music connects you back to yourself in a way that is grounding and familiar. When you hear songs that you love, your mind stops focusing on other people and starts focusing on your own energy. This can be such a relief if you’re an anxious person like me (guilty!). Headphones make everything feel softer and more manageable, plus why not have a personal soundtrack!

Talk to Yourself the Way You Would Talk to a Friend:

While you are out, remind yourself that being alone is not something to fear. It is an act of self-care. You are not missing out on anything. You are creating your own memories and building trust in yourself. You are learning what you like and what makes you feel safe. You deserve that.

Choose Actions That Help Your Body Feel Calm:

Your body responds more to your behavior than your thoughts. When you are alone, your nervous system can get tense and assume something is wrong. This is why choosing small actions that feel good is important. Get your favorite treat. Dance around your room. Colour or draw. Blast the music you love. These things tell your body that you are safe and enjoying your time. Your body listens to these actions and slowly stops reacting with fear.

Try Visiting a Museum or Art Gallery:

These places are ideal when you are learning to be alone. Everyone around you is focused on the art, not on you. The environment is calm and observant, which makes your thoughts slow down. You stop scanning the room and start taking in the things in front of you. The more you practice this, the more natural it feels.

Go to the Movies Alone and Make It a Moment:

A movie theatre is perfect because everyone is focused on the screen. You get to pick the movie you genuinely want to watch without compromising with anyone else. This builds confidence in your own interests and shows you that your excitement is valid. It is a comfortable and low-pressure place to enjoy yourself alone.

Take Your Art or Doodling into a Public Space:

Art is calming by nature. It helps your mind slow down and move into a peaceful state. When you doodle in public like in a park or at a café, your body starts to associate being alone in public with calmness instead of panic. You begin to feel safe in your own presence, and you stop going into fight or flight mode whenever you are by yourself.

Being alone does not mean you are lonely. It means you are giving yourself time to understand who you are and what you need. It helps you build confidence for future friendships and relationships because the way you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.

Enjoying your own company is not about perfection. It is about intention. It is about showing up for yourself in small ways until it stops feeling scary and starts feeling natural. One day you will sit in a café or walk through a museum and realize that you feel completely at ease. You will feel proud of yourself, and you should.

That is how you know you are growing into someone you can rely on.

Gloria Jasson

Wilfrid Laurier '30

My name is Gloria Jasson. I am a first-year student at Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, studying Honors Political Science through a combined five-year Bachelor of Arts and Master’s program in International Public Policy. Academically, I have always pushed myself. I graduated high school on honor roll for all four years and completed over 500 hours of community service through social projects that supported people in my community. I am fluent in Spanish, English, and French, and I strengthened my French skills during an exchange program in Quebec. I also worked at Staples for three years, with two of those years as the youngest supervisor in the store, where I led a team and worked in print and marketing while designing promotional materials for weddings, events, and small businesses.

I have always been drawn to writing. I have had five pieces published so far, four of which were poems and one a short story. I love creating work that makes people feel something real. My writing leans toward poetry, personal nonfiction, and journalism, especially on topics such as mental health, child trauma, women and children’s rights, politics in South America, relationships, and the quiet realities people carry. I was born and raised in Mississauga, but my family is from Argentina, and a large part of who I am comes from that culture, including the language, the community, and the values that shaped me.

Outside of writing, I have many passions that influence my work and perspective. I grew up dancing for twelve years, mainly in ballet and contemporary, and I still carry a deep appreciation for movement, discipline, and expression through art. I also have a strong love for philosophy and classic literature, which pushes me to think critically, understand people deeply, and explore why we are the way we are. In my life and in my writing, I believe in self-growth, healing, and finding meaning even in difficult moments. One of my biggest goals is to work directly with children who have experienced trauma, and to help them feel safe, heard, and valued, the same way others have done for me.