Relationships. In university, it seems as if everyone has a love/hate relationship with the concept of being in a relationship. On the plus side, you have someone to spend time with and be cuddled by when the days get especially cold (very tempting due to the weather over the past week). On the other hand, you must put time and effort into maintaining it.
Anything worthwhile takes work, and relationships are no exception. If you are a poor communicator, you’ll have to work extra hard to keep your connection healthy and non-toxic for both parties involved. (Tip: This can’t be you.)
When communicating with your significant other, you should never come at the conversation with the belief that you are completely in the right, and they are wrong. This will lead to an argument that no one really wants.
First, approach the situation with an ‘I’ statement. For example, use this structure that is commonly used in conflict resolution lessons:
“I feel (enter emotion here) because you (enter scenario here) which comes across to me as (enter feelings here).”
Additionally, let them explain their feelings as well using this format to keep the lines of communication open.
Is it that easy? Yes! (I mean, if you’re both reasonable people.)
Another way to communicate effectively is making sure that you pick the right time to have big conversations. I know it can be hard to wait if something is bothering you, but saying it at the wrong time will just make things worse, and no one wants to be like this: Obviously, don’t hold things in so that they blow up later – just don’t initiate it in a moment where your partner may be emotional or frustrated themselves.
The most important thing is to listen and keep calm. Make your issues known but say them in a way that is respectful and does not escalate the situation. At that point, you’re not having a conversation, you’re having a shouting match. In this scenario, no one is listening to each other.
Lastly, while it is tempting to just unload everything onto your friends, don’t not talk to your partner just because you’re dumping all of your unsaid problems on your best friend.
I think we’ve all known that couple who talks smack about their partner to their friends but doesn’t talk to their significant other about it. However, we all know that if they just talked to each other, they’d be able to work things out.
Overall, don’t let this GIF represent your relationship. Words are your most powerful tool!