Hi Mik,
I recently started talking to a guy who talks about wanting to be my sugar daddy (he’s significantly older than me). I feel weird that I’m even considering it, but having someone to buy me nice things would be #blessed right now, since I’m a broke as f*** student. Is having a sugar daddy a bad idea!?
Being a “sugar baby” is currently a pretty popular topic among university women (and some men). I mean, the perks seem great: money, clothes, dinners… it’s understandable how tempting it is to pursue. If you are serious about looking into becoming a “sugar baby” with this older gentleman, here are some things to think about:
Firstly, does the age difference bother you? If so, don’t engage in an arrangement that you’re truly not comfortable with.
Second, is he a nice and respectful person? Just because he’s giving you money doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be treated properly or have him treat you as a commodity.
Thirdly, do you care what people think? This is a situation where people who suck will unfortunately judge you so you need to have some thick skin.
And lastly, have you considered the logistics of this? You need to discuss with him what exactly is on the table here. To be blunt, is he expecting you to have sex with him? If so, are you comfortable with that? On the other hand, if a romantic relationship were to occur naturally through this arrangement where do you draw the line between the previous arrangement and now a relationship – will you still be receiving the same financial compensation or does the whole game change? If sex is a part of the arrangement (and that’s entirely your choice whether it is or is not), what happens if one night you’re not in the ~*sexual*~ mood for it? Finally, what happens when you want to end the arrangement?
There are a lot of unknowns in sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangements, therefore, my advice here would be to make some type of contract or understanding between each other of what you both except and want out of it. The most important thing I am going to say here and please repeat after me: you do not have to do anything you do not want to do just because he is paying you.
Hey Mik,
I need relationship advice! I really like this boy but I’m not sure how he feels. We have a professional relationship (he’s my boss) and we flirt a lot but I don’t know how to approach it. I think I’m falling! Any advice?
Two quick questions, is he single and how old is he? If he is single, then awesome! If he’s not, please run away now. Now regarding age, would it be a socially acceptable age difference of a few years or is it a drastic age difference? The only reason I say this is because since it is an office relationship it is unfortunately going to be on full display for your colleagues and they may have some things to say about it (not that it’s any of their business anyway *eye roll*)
The next thing you need to ask yourself is if he’s actually flirting back with you or if he’s just a friendly boss. Is he just saying friendly things that could be misconstrued or is he complimenting you or hinting that you two should potentially go out sometime? My suggestion would be to watch him with other people around the office and see how he engages with them. If he’s only flirting with you, then maybe you’re on to something.
Now to the realities of this potential romance: office relationships are always insanely tricky because if he were to feel the same way about you and you both end up dating, what happens when you break up? Next, since he is your boss how do you prevent work issues from coming into your relationship? At the end of the day he is your boss first and your potential significant other second, so you two would need to figure out how to keep both realms separate! Best of luck!
Hey Mik,
How do I tell my friend I want to date her ex-boyfriend?
To be completely honest, there really is no good way to do this. Your friend is going to be pissed, and rightly so. The only advice I have for you here is how to mitigate the potential fire you’re about to light.
First of all, does the ex-boyfriend want to date you? The most important part is to ensure this first before you decide to pursue him. If he’s interested in dating you, then my next question is: how good of friends are you and this girl? If you’re just acquaintances, then perhaps it would be respectful to gently mention to her that you two have begun to see each other and since you two aren’t really friends then she may be upset but will eventually have to accept it.
If you two are decent or good friends, then it may be best to sit down with her and explain the situation and maybe even bow on your knees and apologize forever. You will have to prepare yourself for her to become very upset with you, and to be honest she has every right to be. It may take some time for her to become comfortable around you and your new boyfriend or to trust you again, so you’ll have to be patient and understanding with her.
If you’re best friends… get ready to say good-bye when you tell her the news.
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