Hi Mik,
Long time reader with a dilemma here. My best friend and roommate broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago. Him and I got along really well when they dated and we have since kept in contact. We’re getting pretty serious and have kept this from my best friend because I don’t know how she will take it. Just a few days ago, she said she misses him and wants to try and get back together. I have no one to turn to because none of our friends know! Should I tell her I’m secretly dating her ex or continue to hide it? Help, Mik!
Signed,
The sh**ty friend but great lover
I’m so happy to hear you’re a long time reader! Thanks for your support!
Although, your current situation is a tricky one. At this point, you really have to think about what is more important to you: your best friend, or this guy, and who you want to be loyal to.
Either way, you have to come clean and tell your best friend what has been going on over the past couple of months. My advice for when you confess is to remain calm, and expect a lot of backlash, because she is most likely feeling hurt, betrayed, and angry. Also, it is probably not going to go well and you might end up losing her.
I wish you and your best friend the best; I hope you two can get through this!
Hey Mik,
One of my best friends potentially has a new boyfriend… but she just broke up with her old one. How do I support her having a new bae, without being completely biased because I thought her old boyfriend was so perfect for her?
Sometimes, when we are on the outside of a relationship looking in, we only see and experience the couple when they are in a public setting. Unfortunately, sometimes what we see isn’t always true to what the people in the relationship are experiencing. The feelings of true love and lust may not be there, even though on paper he/she checks every mark off on the list.
If her and her boyfriend have recently broken up, then this may be a tactic to mend a broken heart. She might be feeling lonely and needing some male comfort for a short period of time, or he could be just a rebound. The most important point and one of the main things you have to think about is if your best friend is happy. If her new bae makes her happy, as much as it might be tough, you should be supportive and happy for her too.
Hey Mik!
I’m a guy that’s been reading your advice column for a while now… I need help. I’m seeing this girl and I’m so nervous for our first time together. I don’t have a whole lot of experience and have no idea what to do… any advice?!
So fabulous to hear we have a dedicated male reader! So happy to have you!
Your first step in this situation is to be honest with the girl that you’re seeing. When becoming intimate, open communication between you two is the best tactic when battling the nerves and ensuring you both enjoy your time together. You can ask her what she likes, what makes her uncomfortable, and throughout ensure that both of you are comfortable with what is going on during the entire event.
Take a few deep breaths and everything is going to be just fine! Enjoy your time together!