Hey Mik,
I just turned 18 and am a student here at Laurier. I live with in res and have one other roommate. It seems like everyone on my floor sleeps around a few time a week and take it so casually, but I haven’t slept with anyone, and it’s really embarrassing because I don’t want my new friends to think I’m a baby! I’ve never had a boyfriend and I haven’t even hooked up with a guy, but when my floormates and new friends ask, I lie to them because I don’t want them to know. What should I do?
I think the first step you should take is to become confident in your personal choices. You do not need to explain to anyone why you don’t hookup or have casual sex; it’s your life, it’s your body, and it’s your choice.
A big misconception about going away to university is that casual sex is a part of university life, when that’s not necessarily true. It is entirely up to the individual what they choose to do with other people, and they should receive no judgment if they participate in casual hookups or simply choose not to.
What should you do now? Stop lying! If someone tries to give you a hard time about it, ignore it! Enjoy your university career however you chose to, whether that’s casual hookups, occasional hookups, or no hookups at all. Own your choices, be confident, and rock it.
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Mik,
I live in an apartment with 4 other girls and they are all very naturally skinny. When we go out, they always trade clothes and can borrow each other’s clothes, but I can’t because I’m a little heavier. I never used to be self-conscious about my weight, but I don’t like being the odd one out. I know it isn’t their fault, but I don’t like how I’m singled out all the time. Help!
Self-confidence is a big issue among girls our age, especially when you always have someone else to compare yourself to. Between girls on instagram, in magazines, and in this case your own apartment, self-comparison is really hard to get away from.
In terms of being the odd one out, you can always ask some of your roommates to help you pick out outfits from your own closet. You can also ask their opinions on the shirt you are thinking of wearing, what hairstyle you should do, or what makeup would go best. There’s plenty more ways to bond than just sharing clothes! This way, you might not feel so left out. A different perspective on your wardrobe can really help; your roommates may put together an outfit you never thought of before!
At the end of the day, don’t be self-conscious. Every body is different, and every body is beautiful. Enjoy getting dressed up, and have fun with your friends!
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Mik, I definitely need some advice!
In high school, I got really good grades. I was an honour student and got awards for having the highest grades in many of my classes. It’s my first year here at WLU and I just finished midterms, and my highest mark was a C-. I’m so disappointed and upset, I cry about it every night and I just don’t know what else I can do! I’ve only been home once since the semester started, and I don’t tell my parents about midterms because I’m scared they’ll ask about my grades. I’ve tried talking to my profs but they aren’t very helpful. I don’t want to go see a counselor because I don’t want people to think I have a problem. Should I just drop out and pretend I hated my program?
First year is really tough, and it’s very hard to stay motivated when you don’t get the same grades you did in high school. Don’t be too hard on yourself; it’s common for students in their first year to get dramatically lower grades then they did in high school. So don’t fret – this is normal.
In some cases, profs unfortunately aren’t as helpful as we wish they could be, so perhaps you could turn towards your TA or a tutorial leader for some extra guidance. That’s what they are there for!
WLU has a great Wellness Centre located in the middle of campus above the dining hall. It’s completely anonymous, meaning that the counselors cannot tell anyone (including your parents) you are receiving their services unless there’s a risk that you may become harmful to yourself or others. I think speaking to someone about the stress you’re experiencing could really benefit you on how to handle it, as well as give you some guidance for your future in post-secondary education.
I wish you well; keep your head up and stay strong. University is tough, but you can do it!
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Hey Mik,
My parents are getting divorced, and I want to be supportive of them, but I don’t know how to without choosing a side. I’m scared they’ll be upset when I have to pick which one I’ll live with. Do you have any advice?
Don’t think that being supportive means that you need to chose a side, because it doesn’t. You can be supportive of your parents, your family, but be there for both sides.
I suggest that perhaps having a family dinner with both of your parents would be beneficial to explain your feelings and your concerns. Putting the divorce aside, they are both your parents above all else, and need to understand your feelings as well as their own in this tricky time. When it comes to choosing whom to live with, choose whom you think would be best for you. Also, explain to your parents that choosing which parent you are living with is NOT you choosing sides.
I wish you well, and I hope that you and your family can get through this in the most amicable way possible.