I think it is normal to have a mid-life crisis at 19. Well, in this case, it would probably be referred to as a quarter-life crisis. If you haven’t guessed, I’m having one right now. I’m confused about everything but mainly my career path. If you’re going through this too, unfortunately, I cannot give you the solution. Believe me, I wish I could. However, what I can give you is peace of mind knowing that you are not alone in this and some advice about what I’m doing to help myself through this.
Where do I start? When I was younger, my future career would change every week. After hearing about my peer’s parent’s careers or seeing a movie or TV show, I would immediately change my mind. First, I wanted to be a real estate agent (at seven years old apparently), then an environmentalist, then a doctor (after watching half an episode of Grey’s Anatomy with my mom), then a princess and then a musician. That is standard; I mean, how was I supposed to know what to do when I was seven? But the point is, I’m still like my seven-year-old self. I’m still easily influenced and will say something will be my career without really researching it to see what it entails. In high school, I declared that I would be a criminal lawyer without researching law schools or knowing how much work I would have to do until much later. About a year ago, I read an article about working in the creative industry, specifically the music industry. I completely dropped the idea of law school and decided that that was what I wanted to do. My strategy of dropping my original plan for a new one without researching it in-depth is catching up to me (as you may have guessed by now). My advice when it comes to this is please do your research. I know your childlike excitement may get the best of you but before making any drastic changes, sit back and think: is this what I want? Is it practical? The answer to these questions always feels like a slap in the face. Will it make me money? Do I have the resources to do it? Am I capable of doing it? These questions will give you a reality check, something that even my 19-year-old self was not ready for. I wish I had asked myself these questions a lot sooner and I urge you to do it now.
Then comes the fear of missing out on my potential and the fear of failure. I don’t want to choose one route – the objectively “easier” route – and fear that I’m going to miss out on my potential if I could’ve pushed myself through the harder route. Or vice versa: what if this easier route is more enjoyable and fulfilling, and that is where I’m meant to be? You know yourself best and you can decide what is good for you. If you’re the type of person that needs to try something out and decide whether it works for you, then try it! You have all the time in the world. Know that it isn’t a race and starting your true career path later than everyone else, that’s okay!
But what if you fail? If you fail, you fail. It’s hard to come to terms with it (I’m having trouble coming to terms with it as well). I rarely fail and when I do, it hits me hard. When this happens, I let myself go through the motions. I talk to others and realize that I’m not the only one that has failed at something. No one is perfect, so why should I be?
If you can take anything away from this piece, it’s that you’re not alone in your quarter-life crisis; I’m right there with you. In terms of fears of the future and career confusion, just focus on what you can control: the present. Don’t beat yourself up about not having a set plan. Talk to friends and family, use your resources to figure out what you can do now for your future, do your research and take. Your. Time.