My dear friend, I need to remind you that you are worth more than what you believe. I need to remind you that you are strong, you are beautiful and you are smart. You are kind and you are funny. Above all, out of the eight billion people breathing on this Earth, there is no one like you. You are you and we love you for it. There is no one like you, and because of that, you deserve more than what you are putting yourself through.
Through all the heartache, all the fights, all the tears that stream down your cheeks and through all the naps you take because you are upset, you deserve more. You also deserve more than all the thoughts in your brain. Believe me, you are worth more than what you let yourself put up with.
I know you may get upset at me for saying this but what you feel is not real love. It might feel like it to you, but I’ll tell you that real love does not look like constant arguments, it does not consist of constant fighting and them telling you that you cannot do this or you cannot do that. It does not consist of constantly being in bed because of what they said to you. My dear, real love feels like you are happy. There may be arguments here and there because no one is perfect, but real love, my dear, feels like air. It feels so wonderful, but it does take work from both parties.
I know you’re blinded by the empty promises he tries to give you and the fake words that he gives you here and there just so that he can get his way. I know you want so desperately to believe that he is a good one instead of listening to the people who tell you he is not. I know you tried to turn a blind eye to every one of his abusive ways and I know you’ll get upset at me for saying this.
I have seen you do better when you are not near him or talking to him. I see how he affects you. My dear, real love is not supposed to feel like someone is constantly at your neck saying no to even the purest things. They are supposed to be your safe place, someone that you can depend on, not someone that gets mad at you for proofreading a classmate’s essay. They are not someone that holds you back from supporting your friends at events. Not to mention, they are not someone who has a lot of say in your personal life when they won’t even devote all of their time to commit to you.
My dear friend, you are worth more than settling for barely the bare minimum. You are worth flowers or random surprises. You are worth someone being there when you are at your darkest moment, as well as your brightest moment. You deserve someone that brings you up, someone who wants to learn and grow with you, not someone who has to make sure he can “trust” you before committing to you.
My dear, I understand that there may be an emotional attachment. I get it. You are young. You have this time to learn and grow. You have this time to figure out what you like and what you don’t like, but my dear, don’t settle for the abuse you deal with. I get it – you are young, and you think he’s the one that you want, but stop and reflect for a moment. Take a pause and compile a list of pros and cons. How many pros are there compared to the cons? Just because he is nice some of the time doesn’t mean you have to settle. You, my dear, are worth so much. You deserve to have someone in your life that calls you beautiful, that doesn’t use you for your body, someone who is fascinated with how you think and someone who gets lost in your eyes when you are talking. You deserve someone who would choose you out of a crowd full of people.
Pick up that tiara my dear and remind yourself that you deserve more than that arguing you endure more than you let on. Remind yourself that you deserve more than how they treat you, like when they make you sound like the problem and that that’s why they can’t commit. Remind yourself that you deserve more.
I just wish that you knew how amazing you are and how you deserve someone so much greater than him and I want you to know that there are better men or people out there. I refuse to believe that someone who is so hurtful to you all the time could be the one that you end up with. In the end, I believe that there is someone out there that wouldn’t even dream of doing half the stuff that he does to you. I believe in the end you will find someone who values you for you, who looks at you like a proper human being and actually appreciates things that you do for your friends and classmates.
I know that breaking out of the cycle is not easy and I know it’s going to take you a while to get out of thinking he’s the perfect one that you want, but when you finally figure it out, I will be here to support you and help you through it. No matter how many times you get mad at me for saying what I believe, I will be here for you. My dear friend, you are worth so much more than what you let this man get away with.
One day, you will know. One day you will see your full worth. It is not measured by who you are with, it’s measured by you realizing your own self’s potential. Be strong, my dear, because you are the greatest gift the world could ever ask for.