This generation is doing an excellent job in so many areas of life, and yet they also seem to be tanking in their personal relationships. Modern relationships are hard, and I am not suggesting that this generation does not know how to maintain a relationship. All I am saying is that this generation tends to allow for several things to kill their relationship. In order to decide whether or not you are guilty of this, I have compiled a list of the things that are most likely to kill a modern relationship.
1. We Start Them for the Wrong Reasons
It’s not uncommon that we see our friends in a relationship and wonder why we’re single. Even though we are truly happy for our friends in relationships, it is still normal to get a bit jealous of them. This jealousy can sometimes escalate into something more serious and then we find ourselves entering into a relationship for the wrong reasons. We are part of a generation that rushes into everything just for the sake of bragging rights, and so it is not that uncommon for people to enter into a relationship just to say that they are in one. If this is the case for you or has happened to you, please remember that a relationship should ADD to your life, but it should not BE your life. You can be just as happy single as you would be in a relationship.
2. We Choose to Prioritize the Wrong Things
Often when you get into a relationship, you want to spend tremendous amounts of time with your partner. At the beginning of a relationship, this is normal because you’re still in what most people call the “honeymoon phase.” You want people to know how happy the two of you are. This is something that should calm down after a while though. It can’t always be like this because life is not always like this. After a while, your priorities should be focused on you again, still keeping them as a close second or third, but not first. You and all of your ambitions for life should be your first priority, but in modern romance, we forget this and we prioritize the wrong things.
3. Superficiality
This generation is full of hopeless romantics who watch more than their fair share of rom-coms in their spare time. This has led to people being focused on their appearance and gives them a false perception of what relationships are really like. Don’t get me wrong on this one, the way to get attention at first is usually through a person’s physical appearance. The only way to keep a person’s attention, however, is to be mentally attractive. In other words, you might be a ten on the outside and that’s great, as you will probably get lots of first dates. I highly doubt, however, that you will get many second dates if your personality is a two. If a relationship is all based on superficiality, it’s not built to last.
4. We Ignore the Red Flags
When you refuse to accept the uncomfortable truth that is presented to you, you are also choosing to accept an uncomfortable future. Think of all the Shakespearean tragedies, anytime that a character neglected to pay attention to the red flags, somebody usually died. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if you neglect the red flags, your relationship is probably going to die just like 90% of the people in Macbeth did. We need to start recognizing when their interests and opinions clash too heavily with ours. Don’t be naïve enough to actually believe that opposites attract and that you can ignore and get past all of the things they do that bother you. Opposites can only attract so much, and all of the things that bug you now are only going to bug you more in a year or two. Don’t ignore that gut feeling that I’m sure you have.
5. We Have False Instagram Expectations
This is the big one. Our generation is so incredibly obsessed with social media and the image that we present on social media. Social media, but especially Instagram, makes everyone’s lives and relationships look perfect. This is only because people refuse to post bad things, but who can blame them. If I had a bad day where my car wouldn’t start and then I came home and argued with my boyfriend, I don’t think I would be keen on posting about that either. It is natural to want to display the best of your life on social media, everyone does it. It does however lead other people to be competitive and have false expectations. Expecting perfection from a relationship based on the limited view you have of other people is the fastest way to find unhappiness. Look for substance, friendship and mature communication within your relationship instead of trying to achieve the perfection you are seeing through your screen.
Being in love and in a relationship can be a ton of fun as long as you’re in it for the right reasons and know how to communicate. By learning how to watch out for these 5 things I am sure you will be so much happier in your current and future relationships.