As many college graduates begin their first professional job this fall, it can be an exciting and nerve-wracking time. “First day” no longer means running into all your friends on campus, afternoon sangrias on your front porch, and tanning on the campus football field. Life after college brings its own set of challenges, like learning how to keep your workplace conversations professional, so here are some tips to start you off on the right (and maybe kitten-heeled) foot!
1. Read more.
Just when you thought you could take a break from reading, it ends up becoming way more important. Reading about current events gives you so much to draw meaningful conversation from. The more you read, the more you’ll have to talk about with coworkers or clients. Read the news, read a blog, read a book, read anything! Whether you like sports or not, you’ll know enough to carry a conversation about the game last night. As you become more informed, you also develop more substantial things to talk about.
Most importantly, learning about a topic by reading about it makes you much more approachable. Phrases like “I know all about that since…” makes you seem egotistical, but saying “I read an article on…” makes you sound more open minded, and open to discussion.
2. Share your opinion starting with “I”.
Rather than stating how things “should” be, which can make you sound arrogant, share how you feel about things. Phrases like “I feel that” or “I think that” are personal and they make you come across as more humble and vulnerable. These are qualities that we constantly look for in conversational partners.
Even if you’re right about something, people will prefer listening to you if you say it in a humble tone. Saying “I think that we could benefit from an additional member on our team” comes across much better than “we need another member on our team.” Stating how you feel or think makes people want to listen.
3. Repeat what the other person’s needs are before you state yours.
Using phrases like “I understand that you feel that… I think that…” shows that you’ve heard to the other person’s needs. At the end of the day, people just want to be heard. They want their opinions to matter and be understood. By repeating how others feel, you acknowledge that you hear what they are telling you.
How you come across to others is less about what you say, or even how you say it, and more about how you make other people feel about themselves in your presence. If your conversational partner feels acknowledged, they will be more open to hearing and valuing your opinions.
4. An all-business approach is not always good business.
Simple conversation is something that is overlooked by so many eager young professionals. Although it’s important to cut to the chase, it’s also important to connect with people before jumping into things. Whether you are meeting new clients, networking, or even training other employees, it’s important to get to know the other person and allow them to get to know you. This establishes trust and a friendly tone to start the interaction off positively.
Don’t be afraid to make a joke or talk about something unrelated to business. Better yet, give the person something to remember you by. Simple topics like your favourite sport, an artist you’re passionate about, or a great recipe you tried on the weekend can not only break the ice, but it makes you more memorable to the other person.
5. Always start up conversations on a positive note.
As you enter the office, the first thing on your mind might be how bad the weather was this morning or how long your commute was today. Use every cell in your body to hold back on sharing these negative details at work. Avoid the urge to complain about your problems to your coworkers or clients. Even if it’s the most pressing issue on your mind, it creates an undesirable tone and a negative first impression of you.
6. Remember details about people.
People want the things they say to matter. It’s important to listen to the little things people share with you and show that you remember them. If your boss loves to make pasta, leave a new recipe you tried on the weekend on their desk. If your client says her son is going to college this weekend, ask how her son is liking college the next time you see her. Simple gestures can go a long way.
7. Ask open-ended questions.
This one’s intuitive. To avoid the back and forth of uninteresting “Yes/No” questions, ask questions that allow your conversational partner to share details. “How do you feel about the new office layout?” allows for so much more to be shared than “The new layout is pretty great, isn’t it?”
8. Avoid sharing things that put your conversational partner into a nurturing role.
At work, keep conversations light and positive. Even little complaints like “I have to take my car to the mechanic after work” or “there was so much traffic this morning” put the other person in a nurturing role.
Most of the time these “petty complaints” aren’t even intentional and you probably don’t need the sympathy, but we say them anyway. You’ve probably complained about it to your friends or partner already, so try your best to leave it at that. Think up something fun you did on the weekend and share that instead!
9. Be mindful when sharing your opinion.
If you’re the chatty type, it can be hard to hold back on sharing your opinion. A friend told me about her “rule of three” and I’ve tried to followed it ever since.
Before sharing your opinion, ask yourself three questions:
1) Is it true?
2) Is it necessary?
3) Is it nice?
If your opinion passes all three, it’s a good idea to speak up. Remember that not all your opinions need to be shared, especially in a professional setting. Often times, it’s more important to be kind than to be right.
10. Stop complaining.
You may not have your dream job yet, but at least you have a job. Remember that there will always be someone who wishes they were in your position!
Let gratitude be your guide. Appreciation for the little things can change your whole perspective and it can make you enjoy parts of your job that you never even noticed before.
Being a woman in business can be intimidating especially at an entry level position, but have no fear collegiette’s!