Why I Plan on Changing my Name When I Get Married

Women have been taking their husband’s name for centuries, call it patriarchal, old fashioned or whatever you want really but I think it’s lovely. A lot of people these days think this is an archaic anti-feminist tradition, but not me. I’m an outspoken feminist and I will do anything for the feminist movement and my definition of feminism is women being able to make their own decisions and having the freedom to choose. So if a woman chooses to take her husband’s name why is that suddenly anti-feminist? I’m not here to put anyone’s view down or to say my opinion is better, I just want to defend my choice, because hey, I’m glad I have a choice.

I’m bisexual, so I might marry a woman and I might marry a man, and either way I plan on changing my name. I’m completely open for discussions and if my partner wanted to make our last names hyphenated I would definitely consider it, but honestly I would happily change my last name completely. The thought is exciting to me, the thought of having a new name, a new identity and a new role in a new family. Women taking their husband’s names is something women in my family have always done, and my mum taking my dad’s name made us the Banks Family. In our house, we all had the same name and we were all connected with the identity of being a Banks. And as much as I adore being a Banks, when I get married I want my household to have that unity, to be the ____ family.

Like I said I’m not here to put down anyone else’s opinion so here is a great article about why a woman made the choice to keep her name.

To put it simply, I just love the idea of taking someone’s name. That I get to take on the name of the person I love, that I get to be a part of their family. When I change my name me and my partner will become a team, become our own family. I know I want to have biological children and I know I want to adopt children and I know that whatever way my children arrive in my life, we’ll all be a team with our shared last name.

There’s a lot of ways I’m not traditional at all. I don’t want to get married in a church, I might marry a woman, I might marry a man, I might raise my many children in a two-mother household, I’ll happily propose to someone and I can’t see myself ever giving up a career to stay at home with my children. So maybe changing my name is the way I hold on to some aspect of traditionality? Maybe, but really I don’t think it’s that. I’m simply making a choice, and I’m just forever grateful that I get this choice.


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