I am a perfectionist. I am excessively orderly. I am also a micro manager.
As a result of these three aggressive personality traits, I could never attempt, or even imagine, living with roommates.
When looking into university, I knew right away that living away from home was not an option. Not only could I not afford it (because I’m a shopaholic), but I could never live with other people—whether they were strangers, acquaintances, or close friends.
The truth is, I don’t play well with others. I grew up as an only child living with my mom, so there wasn’t much opportunity to share really anything. All of my toys were my own; I had my own bedroom; I had my space, and certain places where specific things went. I had a system from a young age, and moving through life, I remain devoted to that system.
So, you can see the dilemma I may have if I were to live with roommates. Not only would I have to share—a lot—I would also have to give up most of my personal space. I know Robert Munsch is all about spreading the message “We Share Everything,” but I’m not about the kind of life. If I share, it’s because I genuinely want to—forget trying to make me do it, because it’s just not going to happen.
I’m particularly protective of food. If I buy food of any kind, you can bet that I’m not going to give it over. I just love food, and I love it even more when I spend my own money on it. When I hear stories about roommates eating all of the Pop Tarts or Pizza Pockets, I’m inwardly raging for the victim of that terrible crime. I don’t want to feel as though I need to label everything in the fridge or cupboard that’s mine—I’m paying to live in that house and have my own things, so why should I feel as though I need to constantly protect that right with post-it notes that some evil soul will probably rip off and pretend never existed.
Another thing I cherish are my clothes, because I have a ton of them. And they’re nice clothes—I mean, I work at Victoria’s Secret/Pink, so there’s quite a lot of expensive garments in my closet. Again, I’ve heard that roommates are notorious for stealing, or “borrowing” clothing (but let’s be real, you never actually get them back unless you confront them). To me, that is just not okay. Sure, if you ask me to borrow a top or whatever, I’m probably going to say yes. But if I find out that you went behind my back and took it upon yourself to make the decision for me, there will be a lot of trouble. I have a lot of Scottish in me—and with that comes a bad temper if aggravated.
Cleanliness is also extremely important to me. I understand that life gets in the way and sometimes you can’t keep on top of the dishes or dusting. But I don’t understand how people can have all of their stuff spread across every possible surface. I don’t want to have to clean up after someone—I’m not their mom, and probably, I’m not even really their friend. Unfortunately, I’m the type that will clean up after other people if they don’t do the cleaning themselves—I’m just that kind of clean freak. Things need to be done according to when I want them done, and if they’re not, I lose it. Like I said, I’m a perfectionist.
Lastly, I hate having to depend on other people. I don’t want to depend on people to keep the house clean, to be responsible at parties, or to make sure the finances go through properly. If I only have myself to rely on, then I know things will be done the way I see fit. Not to mention, I’m not going to wake up every weekend to a post-party disaster.
The irony about this article is that, while I complain about why I could never have roommates, I realize that I would make the worst roommate ever. I may be able to live with myself and my need for excessive order, but I don’t think many others could (except my boyfriend… hopefully).