Stranger Things: Merch You Actually Want

Midterms may be slaying the student population, but you won’t fool anyone into thinking you haven’t seen Stranger Things 2 yet. Let’s face it, our lives feel pretty Upside Down lately with exams and we all wish Superhero Bob Newby would help out with our essays. While we navigate our own tunnels of deadlines, poor grades and caffeine jitters, we could all use a little merch to make it mystical. So, here are the best of the Netflix Original inspired products to keep you going all the way until Stranger Things 3.

*Warning: subtle spoilers ahead

1. “Run” Keychain

Keep your Halloween spook going into the holiday season Nightmare Before Christmas style with these Christmas lights and R-U-N charms. Not only will they give your keys an extra little jingle, but they’ll remind you to be careful when you’re out drunkenly searching for Barb after leaving Jacks for a late night misadventure. You can find this keychain at Hot Topic—your favourite one-stop locale for all your fandom desires—for $10.90.

2. iPhone Case

Eggos, walkies, caps, lights and bikes? You can’t get any more Stranger Things than that! Not only does Redbubble make this case in every iPhone size dating all the way back to the 4, but you can choose a light “snap” case for $31.42 or a protective “tough” case for $37.92. If you plan on taking your phone to Hawkins Lab or simply happen to be a clutz like me, you might want the more durable second option.

3. Sticker Sheet

Profs may not give out stickers when you do well on papers, but that doesn’t mean you can’t reward yourself with some! Treat yo’self to this sticker pack of Eleven inspired items and spend your “study time” decking out your laptop or notebooks with these gems. Grab them here for $3.05-$18.71 (decide how obnoxious—I mean—how large you want your stickers to be and pay accordingly).

4. The Upside Down Embroidered Dad Hat

This embroidered dad hat keeps it minimalist and to the point with simple yet tasteful upside-down and backwards text reading, “The Upside Down.” If you’re more of a Bob, Hopper or Max, this cap is for you. Find it in an array of colours on Etsy for only $19.82.

5. Soundtrack (Vinyl)

Of course it’s vinyl; it’s the '80s, damn it! The album drops on December 15, 2017 and it’s no secret that the soundtrack was #amazing. I know you’ve got a turntable tucked away somewhere (you secret-but-not-so-secret-hipster, you) so pre-order this record on Amazon now for $35.27 and jam out to music that just “sounds so much better on vinyl.”

6. Mouthbreather Sticker

This sticker is for the subtle but salty fan. If you’re not about this whole cover-everything-you-own-in-stickers-trend, keep it classy with a small sticker packed with personality. Keep your love for Stranger Things and your knack for wacky insults sly, PG, yet known by grabbing this in small for $3.56.

7. “Run” Clock

Don’t lie: this is the best clock you’ve seen in a long time. Christmas lights, numbers (why do people make clocks without numbers? I don’t understand), a clean aesthetic, a reminder that you’ve gotta run, easy colour customization AND it references Stranger Things? You can take that $42 directly off my VISA now, thank you.

8. Unisex Hawkins Middle School AV Club Hoodie

Now this is some subtle merch that I can get behind! Indulge in that middle school nostalgia while totally removing your actual middle school experience from it; let’s admit, it was awkward and not nearly as cool nor adventurous nor mystical as it was at Hawkins. You can pick between maroon, navy, grey, black or white when selecting this on Amazon for $29.91-$39.99.

9. Van Throw Pillow

Keeping your student house looking cute and relevant doesn’t have to be difficult; just how Eleven threw the van, you can throw this pillow wherever you want for a quick pop of worthy pop-culture. You can get this as either just a pillow cover (a 40x40 cover is $26.04) OR a pillow cover with an insert (a 40x40 cover and insert is $35.41) in a variety of sizes, the smallest being 40x40 and the biggest 65x65!

10. Stranger Things Ringer Tee

Uhhh… love much? For only $18 you could be part of that retro, cool-girl fantasy you definitely have about yourself. You know, the one where you’re Nancy and navigating boys, monsters and brothers like a badass (and better than she does, so you tell yourself). There’s no need to be subtle when it comes to ringer tees: let everyone know how much you adore Stranger Things.

Best times to rep this tee? Literally always. Never take it off. Wear it to class or work. Sleep in it. Fight the Shadow Monster in it. Wear it to the gym. Wear it to your cousin’s wedding. Die in it.

11. Justice For Bob Sticker

Forget Barb! It’s all about justice for Bob now! Sure, Joyce gets her justice (I guess), but was it really enough? I think not. Bob Newby is a hero that none of us deserved; Sean Astin at it again, folks! Advocate to your fellow fans around campus by sporting this sticker, purchasable for $3.05, somewhere everyone can see it.

12. Demogorgon POP! Keychain

Ok, whatever, after seeing Dart I may be a bit more about the Demogorgons than I was before and I’d definitely count on this mini dude to scare off anyone who gets too close on the LTC. Get this tiny Funko POP! Vinyl keychain for $7.90 and tell everyone you raised it from a demo-dog; they’ll get a sense of how bitchin’ you are in one go.

13. Merry Christmas Ugly Holiday Crewneck

Alas! An ugly Christmas sweater that you’ll want to wear and which will win you some of those Ugliest Christmas Sweater contests because who doesn’t love Stranger Things? This baby comes in a wide selection of colours for $19.99, but it definitely looks best in black or navy. Let the Shadow Monster get you if you pick another colour.

You may have binged Stranger Things 2 in a day, but these goodies will last you through every single rewatch marathon you embark upon. Get an item or two from this list to be your certified and official fan or buy all 13 and let the Stranger Things’ vines wrap themselves around your life and pull you deep under Hawkins, deep into The Upside Down.

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