Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation with someone about something wonderfully niche, when they cut themselves off and change the subject? Of course you have, because we’ve all been there. So when I found it happening again last week, (in a conversation about Dungeons & Dragons) I was by no means surprised… but this time I decided to finally voice my opinion on the dreaded “sorry, you’re probably bored of listening to this” conversation killer. There is a difference between rattling on about something minor and deliberately stopping the conversation in fear you’re embarrassing yourself – and it’s called the “Guilty Pleasure.”
Most people don’t put much thought into the “topic change.” No need to stop someone from changing the subject, because clearly they’re just done covering whatever they were on. However, lately I’ve been noticing that people will halt conversation and even apologize for getting “carried away” talking about something they enjoy, but think you may not. Here lies an often unobserved problem faced by the so-called millennials: we tend to apologize for things we enjoy if we feel others won’t share that enjoyment.
For me, it’s the Bachelor franchise. The Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, even Bachelor Pad (shoutout to the OG Bach fans)… I will watch any and all and force those around me to be just as excited as I am for that final rose. Many people have tried to make me feel guilty about this: from observations about the “scriptedness” of the shows, to speculation about the financial motives of contestants, to comments such as “I don’t know, I could just never watch that kind of thing.” For whatever reason, people like to feel better about themselves by belittling something others enjoy. And yes, I do admit that the show can be fake, and the love doesn’t always last forever, but why does that matter? It’s something I enjoy, and if you don’t like it you by no means have to partake in it.
Even though I rarely feel guilt over being part of Bachelor Nation anymore, many people continue to take this kind of judgement to heart. They make sure not to mention these suppressed passions too much and become embarrassed when they’re associated with them… thus the “guilt” of the “guilty pleasure.”
Besides the confusing juxtaposition between those two words, thinking about this phrase in depth results in questioning of why it exists at all. If something is a “pleasure” it inherently gives you joy–why should you hide that joy? For the benefit of others? What are they gaining by your insecurity to be confident in the things you love?
The argument for guilty pleasures is easy to fall for when you’re part of a generation that values fitting in arguably more than any other generation that’s existed before us. Guilty pleasures are a concept of a reality we’ve created to protect ourselves from getting hurt and standing out, choosing to keep our indulgences secret rather than embrace what makes us happy.
But it’s exhausting, keeping up the façade! Everyone is different, and we should all be able to speak on our interests without feeling embarrassed by them because someone else doesn’t share that interest. It’s time to embrace our passions and stop feeling self-conscious about the things we love, because life is simply too short to put that much effort into pretending to be someone we’re not. So to all the young women out there who feel embarrassed about something they like, try to remember that you don’t need to feel insecure about enjoying things that make you happy. And next time you hear someone undermining themselves for enjoying something, take a minute to encourage them to do the same.