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An Open Letter to Girls Who Make Out With Each Other For Attention


I know you acted like we all didn’t see you smash into each others faces last night at the bar, but you know very well that we did. I was just standing, minding my own business, when a totally euphoric and hormonal moan mixed with delight and disbelief came from the group of boys behind me. They ogled you, snapped a pic, and laughed to each other, very obviously turned on by the whole shebang.

After a few lip-locking moments, one of you playfully pushed the other off and you both giggled. You looked genuinely proud, like you had just crossed something off your drunken todo list.

But this whole scene is by no means a unique one. In fact, the idea of two girls going at it has devolved into something of a cultural cliché – a task all girls are supposed to partake in when they’re a few Palm-Bays deep.

Let’s take a step back here.

If performances, like this one, have entered mainstream culture, they must lead back to common source. And thanks to the data collection records from good ol’ PornHub, it’s easy to see where these practises take root. According to their 2014 record, “lesbian” was the most common word searched among US porn-viewers and the phrase “lesbian seduces straight girl” earned the biggest rush in online traffic. (In case you needed me to say it, it’s noteworthy that 85% of these viewers were male).

Maybe you think I’m overreacting about all this. Maybe I should sit back and let all the straight girls have their 15 seconds of fame like the good lord of Vodka Tonics intended. Or maybe, I can write something that’s impactful enough to at least make you think about it.

Bisexuality isn’t a trait that can be turned on and off at the drop of a tequila shot. It isn’t like that Blue Jays hat you bought even though you hate baseball – you can’t just store it away for most of the year and then only bring it out once in awhile in the hopes of sexually satisfying the interests of men. It’s a way of being, and it’s one that some of us actually use to relate to the world around us.

University is a time of identity formation and more often than not, at some point, sexuality becomes a part of that. And to any of you who try this identity on like a Halloween costume to get a couple risqué pictures at the bar, just remember that there are girls out there who are constantly struggling with the very actions that you treat so lightheartedly.

Girls who are genuinely in love, but get written off as two silly drunk friends making out for attention.

Girls who are cat-called, fetishized, and sexualized for making out with who they care about.

Girls who are vying for the acceptance of their family and peers for something you brushed off with a slight giggle and a hangover.

Girls who are fighting to prove that who they are isn’t just an irrelevant college phase.

So excuse me for feeling a little snubbed by you and your drunken makeouts. I guess we’re all just tired of you making it look so insignificant.

Sarah is a writer/musician/creative type in her last year of an English & Creative Writing degree. She is a big supporter of floral prints and could probably identify any "Friends" quote in under five seconds.
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