1. What is your background? Where did you go to school/what did you major in?
I went to High School in London (South, haaay!) and studied Creative Advertising at Centennial College in Toronto. My passion was always music, hip-hop specifically, and I was a human encyclopedia not just on the music but on the business of music.
In 2000, while in college, the first Urban Music radio station came to Canada – FLOW93.5 FM – and I fought my way into an internship. That began a career in Marketing, Promotions and Communications in Entertainment for the next 12 years, at Major record labels and then to Los Angeles where I worked with super duper stars.
2. What was the biggest risk you took when you started your business?
Leaving music. March 15th 2010. That’s when I made the decision to not pursue a life in entertainment because it didn’t fit the BIG PICTURE I had for myself. Starting at 19, the music industry was all I had known. I wasn’t sure how I was going to transition into another career, but I knew I had to. Starting BEFORE you are ready is key. You’ll never be 100% ready.
3. How did those risks help shape who you are today?
I began writing a blog. www.butilovememore.com – Life experience, crazy stories and lessons learned in ‘the business’. It took off right away! Then I was being interviewed and profiled and doing radio and being a talk radio guest on syndicated shows…my name was getting out there and I had to make sure I was 1) clear on what I wanted and WHY and 2) ready and prepared to receive what I asked for!
When you don’t know what you DO want, know what you DON’T want.
Best advice I’ve been given. Eliminate the negative, the positive becomes clear. I didn’t want to work 18 hour days anymore. I didn’t want to end up like the CEOs around me, rich, divorced and coping with temporary props. I wanted it all. A family, a marriage, my own business, serving others, learning constantly, travelling, my own schedule… I have that, years later. But wouldn’t if I focused on the comforts of the moment.
4. How did you get started as a life coach? What motivated you to do this?
I have a nature and energy that makes people comfortable around me. I am that person friends and strangers tell everything to. And I love it! When I was changing careers, I learned about coaching and it was a fit. learning skills to best serve others. I was already doing it, but with certification, I wouldn’t be a garbage can for people’s problems, I could guide them effectively and they would apply it because I was charging them for my time. I had to value my time as well and that was an important lesson.
5. If you could tell your 20-year-old self anything, what would it be?
Trust your gut. Forgive yourSELF first. Only work with the information given – the hypotheticals and assumptions will suck up your time and energy and they aren’t fact. Be clear on what you EXPECT and what you will ACCEPT in romantic relationships because YOU teach people how to treat you.
6. Do you learn from the people you coach? Is there any one case that you learned from?
I learn from all of them. You don’t know what you know until you are asked the question. We all push through life, solve problems, figure it out, but don’t assess HOW. My clients remind me of those past challenges and I can then clarify and distill the HOW so it is put into practice.
7. What is your favorite thing to talk about or the thing you consider to be the most important?
Self-care. Its setting a standard for your life so you aren’t changed by what happens to you. I am a survivor of rape, abuse, family addiction – heavy stuff. By taking care of myself in small ways, all the time, I have created a buffer between me and the pull of the world, demands of others… it’s helped me recover after trauma while helping me find some sanity while the demands of my life grow as a wife and mother.
8 How do you use your professional experience in your personal life?
I’m fortunate that I can!! I have to walk my talk and I certainly do. I am not perfect, but perfection isn’t the goal – progress is. I follow guidelines of ACCEPTANCE, ACCOUNTABILITY AND ACTION. Acceptance for who I am, and for who i am not. Accountability for my role in the drama but giving credit for my wins, big and small, and action … taking action by doing what I can and getting clear about where and how i need help.
9. How do you help clients who have a hard time learning the lessons you are teaching?
Instead of drilling in ‘the right way’ to do things, for me, it’s about revealing the skills and gifts they DO have, tapping into qualities and personality traits that have helped them through hard times in the past – determination, empathy, patience, courage, tenacity, resourcefulness – we need reminders that we have survived 100% of our worst days. that we were given no magic pill to get over that broken heart or to push through the fears of the unknown, like university, but YOU did it. again and again. As I coach, I offer a reminder and cheer you on until it sticks!
10. What is the best school/city/group you’ve talked to/helped?
There is something special about returning to your hometown – which is why I love speaking at Western. My favorite events are the Ladies Nights I host on campus. It’s creating an opportunity to have an important discussion in a natural, organic and safe way. We talk about coping with transitions, toxic relationships, girl vs girl drama and get into the importance of stepping into being a surivour after trauma. My q&A sessions last up to two hours… young women often watch one another, but this is an opportunity for them to feel seen.
11. What do you do for fun when you’re off duty?
I have 3 year old twin girls and life with them is always fun! we love hikes, walks by the lake, exploring… nature is a huge place of solace and healing for me. I’m happy they like getting dirty like I do!