My stepmother loves me more than anyone else. Ok, yes she has other children, yes she loves my dad a gross amount… (they still make-out in the kitchen), but I stand by the fact that she loves me most. I do not say this to sound cocky, or to suggest that I’m the favourite of her four, but… she just couldn’t help it. I met Jenn when I was 6 years old at one of my Dad’s baseball games. She brought me a Blue’s Clues colouring book and right then and there, I was sold. However, all I had to offer her in return was the eventual head lice and picky eating she tried to cope with. Not intentionally of course, but I didn’t make easy for her. She was young and wanting to settle down for the first time in her life, and my dad had two kids already. The situation wasn’t ideal… most girls don’t dream about meeting the man of their dreams and instantly having to become a mom of someone else’s children… But that’s the thing about my stepmother, she loves me more than anyone else because she didn’t have to. Jenn fell in a different kind of love with my dad, of course, one that is romantic, and impossible not to feel when it happens to you. But she chose to love me… she chose to be there for me, to become a stepmother when she could have just walked away and met a man with less, dare I say it? “baggage” (Even though I was really cute bagage… like Louis Vuitton or something). She could have been the type of stepmother that didn’t make an effort, that caused a rift between dad and child, that took him away from me…. but instead she chose to get to know me. (And don’t tell my dad) but I think I became the reason she stays when he yells like a mad man at Jays games (on tv)…because she let herself fall in love with me too.
I am so happy to have her, to be able to talk to her, to love her, and so very excited to have her join me at HC this week.
Love you always,Kellie.
“Where does the time go?” Such a cliché remark that parent’s say when their child celebrates a birthday or other milestone. But it’s true…seems like just yesterday when I graduated, but in the blink of an eye, I am staring into the homestretch of my daughter Kellie’s final year.
I met Kellie when she and her older brother were 6 and 8. I was 25 and dating their dad. I was just a kid and suddenly I was helping to raise two. We were married two years later and two after that we welcomed twins (a boy and a girl) to our family.
When Kellie asked me to write something for family week, I spent a few days pondering the subject. There are so many topics to choose from. I could discuss her arrival at Western (perhaps having a boy named “Midnight Snack” remove her from the car upon arrival is not the best thing for her father’s heart). Maybe a piece on some of the things I am glad she has outgrown (collecting rocks in her school backpack, for example). Perhaps recalling the strange stages a child goes through as they develop their own taste (not eating ‘flecks” i.e.: pepper in their food) and style (hello, black eye liner).
I finally decided to just jot down a few things I want her to know.
You are beautiful. Every day. All day. You are most beautiful when you throw back your head and laugh or when you smile so hard, those dimples strangely placed on the top of your cheeks become exposed.
We worry about you…alot. That makes us parents. It doesn’t matter what you are doing or where you are. This will never stop.
You are idolized by your little sister…It’s a big responsibility that should never be taken lightly. Every duck face, every action has the possibility of being analyzed and repeated. But so does every accomplishment and positive decision.
Your little sister will teach you more than any class. Her innocence, her imagination and childlike wonder…qualities we tend to lose as we get older. Hold on to them as long as you can.
Give back to your community. Volunteer. Offer your time whenever you can. The benefits and feel good moments are worth it.
Give more than you receive. Don’t take people for granted and never give up an opportunity to say “I love you”. My grandma use to say “The only thing worse than growing old is not having the chance to”. The world is yours…travel, create memories and live without regret.
Your happiness is not defined by anyone but you. No relationship will fix you, nor will it make you happy about yourself. That starts and ends with you.
Having said that, I wish for you a love that is so big and so profound, it cannot be described. I am so lucky to have found my soulmate…some who adores me at my best and worst. I wish that for you.
Remember “blood may be thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood”. One of my favourite quotes. Our family is a mosaic of people. Half, step, biological…these are words, they do not define us. Love does.
With that, I love you. All that you were, are, and will be. Now hurry up and graduate, so you don’t live so far away!
Stepmonster
xoxo