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Lame Realities of Late-Night Thoughts

As a writer for Her Campus Western Ontario I am used to investigating stories and interviewing other people, asking them questions about their various lifestyles and projects… but tonight I decided to interview myself. However, I have failed my task. All I have is questions. No answers. Because, hey, what basic 20-year girl has it all figured out at 2 a.m. in the morning? Not me, that’s for sure. So, if you should chose to do so, take a walk through my wandering brain as I present to you an honest collection of tonight’s late night thoughts… 

 

How long can you have leftover Pad Thai in your fridge and still eat it?

Those Biore pore strips don’t even work. How can I attack and destroy pesky black heads forever without buying into capitalism? I wonder if I have any duct tape. 

If he uses my Netflix sometimes, can that be a relationship status?

If I go to the gym only once this week, will I feel better or worse about myself?

What are calories though… like actually, what are they, I don’t get it? 

Is having a piece of chocolate cake for dessert worth a possible acne breakout in the morning?

Why do I still get random break outs every few months? I’m a grown up for god sakes. 

Shit. When did I become a grown up?

Why haven’t I done anything with my life? Malala Yousafzai is like 14 and she’s already won the Nobel Peace Prize. Zuckerberg created Facebook in University… I created this post.

Is Facebook still a thing we’re doing?

If you know a guy has a girlfriend but he messages you a little too frequently, late night, on Facebook, is it appropriate to let his girlfriend know? Is it none of my business or girl code?

Who keeps track of girl code anyways? Imagine there was like a secret girl code police squad who would send you to girl code jail for kissing Veronica’s crush at that party. You can never be too careful ladies.  

When will my grandma forgive me for declining her friend request? Most awkward Thanksgiving of my life. 

I wonder… Do my parents know how lame I actually am? 

Why is everyone from my hometown getting married or pregnant? I don’t even know what I want to eat for breakfast tomorrow. I can barely commit to a hair appointment. 

Where did that spider come from? If there’s a secret society of spiders somewhere in my house I’m moving out. 

My ex boyfriend from high school now lives in the United States. Why can’t all exes be shipped off to another country when we’re done with them? Long distant break ups are prime. 

What am I supposed to do after graduation… but actually? Toilet paper costs like $15. 

I won’t lie. I killed it in that selfie. Do I post it tonight or wait for tomorrow?

If I buy a kitten and keep it in my room as a fun little secret, will my roommates even notice?

When is my mom going to decide to stop paying my cell phone bill?

Are bars getting more boring or am I getting more boring?

Will drinking apple juice make me 5 years old again?

I thought university was supposed to be less dramatic than high school. What is this? A bad teen flick with valid ID’s? 

Why do candles and twinkly lights excite me this much? 

Is it wrong to hangout with more than one guy if you’re just trying to decide who fits into your life better/ who you like spending time with more?

Can I bottle ‘man fresh out of the shower’ scent? 

Cheese used to be my life force… now it’s a reward. What’s up with that?

Are nude nails better than painted ones?

Thank god it’s boot/sock and not flip-flop season. Do people notice half painted toe nail polish? 

I lost weight when I started eating healthier… but it all left from my ass… and not in a good way… Will I ever win?

Is hugging your ex at a bar a sign of weakness or a sign of strength? 

Is there still cheese in the fridge?

If your mom drinks more wine and goes on more vacations with her girlfriends than you do at 20 years old, who is winning? I think that’s a clear one.

Is it acceptable to wear a beanie hat every day if I don’t want to bother doing anything with my hair? Will people catch on? Do I care?

Sometimes I feel like Taylor Swift… Will my future love interests be intimidated by my inclination to write about them? 

I think Sam Smith and I would be great friends. We could lay on the floor and cry together. He just gets me, you know?

Will an older guy meet my mature expectations? Or deep down will I always want an immature, sarcastic, douchebag? Ah, screw you, romance. 

Do I need to wash this sweater or can I wear it tomorrow?

Why are guys more interested in you when other guys are interested in you? I’m not complaining, but someone seriously needs to conduct an experiment to prove my theory.

Can I date myself? 

Is it okay to think of yourself as a catch? No? Ok. 

Is coming into class with cold rosy cheeks cute? Or does my forever running nose ruin it? 

Do I need to shave my legs when I know I’ll be wearing pants for the next few days? 

But, what if he asks to hangout later? Better to be safe than sorry, or hairy. 

Did I always have that freckle there?

How is Kylie Jenner younger than me? 

Is having 9 pillows on my bed too much? I think that’s my strange addiction. At least I don’t eat my mattress or anything. 

If I go to bed now, how many hours of sleep will I get? 

Will another hour of Grey’s Anatomy help me to sleep better though? Meredith just left too much up in the air last episode; it’s left me unsettled. 

Does telling strangers my late night thoughts make me crazy or open? Who really cares? Sweet Dreams HC.

Kellie Anderson is incredibly proud and excited to be Western Ontario's Campus Correspondent for the 2015-2016 year. She is currently in her fourth year of Media Information & Technoculture, and has an overflowing passion for creative writing. While Kellie loves to get wildly creative while writing fictional short stories, she has found that her true passion is in shedding light towards hard-hitting topics like Mental Illness - she believes that writing is the best healer. Kellie has some pretty BIG plans for her future and can't wait to graduate as a Her Campus Alumni! You can contact her at kellieanderson@hercampus.com.
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